Because I Love You, Stupid!
by Bbbleblish
Summary: Ever wondered what goes on in his head? - Told from Otani's POV and continuing from where the manga left off. Due to some mature themes from Chapter 2 onwards this fic will be rated M
1. Chapter 1 Long Journey Home

**~Because I love you, Stupid~ Otani's Story**

Otani spends hours travelling by bullet train from his University every fortnight to see Koizumi. He is trying so hard to be a good boyfriend but he can't ignore a niggling sense of impending doom threatening their relationship. Can distance and time have the potential to change eveything for them?

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**Chapter One: A Long Journey Home**

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It is another Saturday morning and I'm making the fortnightly pilgrimage back to my hometown via a bullet train. The train ride is a real test of endurance but it's all worth it, I guess, just to see the smiling face of a certain someone. I don't like saying it aloud but I really crave the familiar surroundings and people that represent home to me. However, every time I return something always seems to change. Or maybe I am the one gradually changing as I start to get used to University life.

I feel a twinge of guilt but I push the feeling aside and I start thumbing hastily through the Umibouzu playlist on my Ipod. I stop on a brand new collaboration song between Umibouzu and EXILE and sink back into my seat. I'm really wiped out from working my part time job the previous night and I let out an impatient sigh as I gaze out the train window.

The shining outer city coastline is rushing past my sleepy eyes with high velocity. There are stretches of calm beaches and as the scenery passes by me a late-morning glow seems to dance on the water's surface like thousands of sparkly shards of glass.

From that window I get only short glimpses like still photos of people that I will never ever meet, laughing and enjoying themselves at the beach. There are little weatherboard shacks and beachfront delicatessens that are quickly filling with groups of teenagers in beach wear.

Seeing the beach again, I bow my head in shame because I'm reminded of that night on the 3rd of August almost one month ago. The last time I had gone to the beach it was my girlfriend, Koizumi's birthday but I had completely forgotten the important date.

Of course I didn't mean to forget! I had been working two part time jobs at the time and I was trying to cram in summer study sessions so everything was just occupying my mind at once. There is no real excuse, I know... My friends often tell me I can be quite dense.

She was really sad that night. It was all because of me. I didn't even realise I had neglected her in so many ways. Sometimes I feel at a loss because I'm beginning to feel like I am failing as a boyfriend but there is really nothing I can do about it at the moment and this creates a kind of heaviness in my chest.

"I don't have Otani enough. I want to see you more" she said attempting to hold back tears. I kept thinking, Wow, she loves me that much…She really needs me to be with her that much…and the heaviness in my chest tried to force its way up my throat a little. So I silently promised myself that I would never be the cause of Koizumi's pain again and I managed to discard my second part-time job so I can visit her every fortnight.

I don't often let Koizumi know about this side of me. You know what I mean… feelings and things like that because…well, it's too embarrassing! and I'm not really into that mushy crap…well…I never used to be. But actually ever since I've been with Koizumi I learn something new about how much I'm willing to express when it comes to feelings.

I'm feeling gloomy and my mood must translate clearly on my face. An old woman selling bento boxes walks past my seat but I am not particularly interested in eating yet so I wave her on. However the old lady stops in front of me and peers into my face through thick framed glasses. She gives me a gentle pat on the head. Heh? Obaasan! Why you...!

"Poor boy. Your parents make you ride the bullet train by yourself, ne?" She says softly.

Eh?! Wh-what the did she say?…but before I can even process the offensive comment she places a bento box in the palm of my hands with a generous smile. Woah! Is it my lucky day? I can smell stewed tsukune dumplings, umeboshi and other delicious aromas.

"Oh really? For me?! thank you…" I remark as I gratefully accept the bento.

"850 yen", she announces abruptly. She drops her friendly expression and she holds out her palm.

Er what just happened now. I was kind of under the impression she was going to _give_ me the bento box for free out of sympathy or something. No way! Have I just been swindled by a crafty old lady? Maybe I AM as dumb as everyone says.

Feeling incredibly stupid and annoyed I begrudgingly hand over my cash and turn my attention to the window again. The scenery outside is beginning to change from beaches to industrial buildings and suburban housing and I realize that I'll be at the station in an hour or so. I rest my head against the glass pane and reflect on a troubling incident that occurred at my part-time job the night before.

My part-time job is at the Hoshizora Eegakan (a cinema). It is close to my dorm house so it's convenient but it is also a very tiring job and I usually work until midnight. The Cinema has to compete with a huge commercial gaming arcade next door and so business is often slow.

Usually myself, my workmate Shiori-san and her annoying friend who isn't even employed with the cinema are the only ones left manning the candy bar. These two girls always manage to talk so loudly that many customers will often come out of the theatres to complain about the noise. Then Shiori-san and her friend will pick a fight with complaining customers every single time. It takes just the littlelest thing to set her off and Shiori-san will get furious. A few times I've witnessed her hurling buckets of popcorn ultimately assaulting customers with a barrage of salty white comets. The girl is really bad for business but her mother is dating the manager and so she gets away with murder.

Manager Hayashi makes _me_ clean up her messes saying I'm the older one and therefore the more responsible one and I should prevent her from getting into such altercations with the customers. But how can I? She's not really the type of girl who'd listen to anybody and yet she still manages to piss people off.

"Otani-kuuuun don't you think that the western film stars make such weird laughing noises? I can hear them on screen from inside the theatre" cackled Shiori-san in her usual loud voice that kind of reminded me of Koizumi's voice. I smirked to myself thinking how she reminds me of Koizumi in some ways. But I gave her a stern look and hissed in a semi hushed voice,

"Shut up. How many times do you need to be told? People can hear you from inside the theatres."

"Eh? The cutie is kind of pissed off today isn't he? Are you having girl troubles cutie?" teased Shiori-san's friend

I fell silent and continued sorting the notes in the cash register. I wouldn't let Shiori-san's friend know it but she was sort of right. I was troubled but only because I was worried about how I could make the best of my free day with Koizumi.

"Or maybe its boy troubles, huh cutie!" said Shiori-san's friend interrupting my thoughts. She grinned at me evilly.

"Stop calling me cutie! You have some nerve calling me that!" I yelled back far too loudly.

Shiori-san's friend then leaned on the counter putting her hands on her hips and she beamed at me cheekily.

"Oh but then you don't deny that it is boy troubles? That makes sense, I guess. I don't really know what kind of girl would want to date you. You are so puny!" she said with a thoughtful expression as if she was just stating an obvious fact.

I grabbed the girl's shirt collar and pulled her down to my level, anger prickling the back of my neck. I put on my best Yakuza gangster impression.

"What did you say you little punk" I snarled at her radiating all the bad vibes I could muster while giving her ice cold daggers.

Shiori-san's friend looked down at me with wide eyes and blinked twice.

"Kyaah! You are so cute when you try to act tough! Like a homicidal kitty cat" she squealed with delight.

"Kitty cat?" I spat venomously.

The traumatising memories of being locked up and violated by that fool, Haruka's nine girlfriends came flooding back. They tied me up and dressed me like a cat. I couldn't suppress a shudder at the mere thought.

"How dare you!" I yelled loudly.

"Now who is the one yelling, Otani-kun?" chided Shiori-san.

Then Shiori-san and her friend disturbingly threw back their heads in synchronised booming laughter which left me feeling unsettled.

"Argh! Stop causing me trouble Shiori" I snapped and turned to her friend.

"and…erm…you too…I don't even know your name" I confessed bluntly.

She looked like she was going to choke and popcorn would start to spill out of her mouth like a popcorn maker.

"Eeeeh?!?!!! But I've known Otani-kun for about two months already!" Shiori-san's friend cried, clutching her head and cradling herself while muttering words I could not hear. What a weird girl.

"Ooootaaaaaniiii" hissed manager Hayashi malevolently. He had poked his head out from behind his office door which was near the front entrance of the cinema. His eyes were popping out in such a scary way that the three of us jumped back at the sight of him. Manager Hayashi's head always looks like as if someone is squeezing a half deflated balloon with a clown face on it. Pulsating and demented. It doesn't help that his waistcoat and pants are a few sizes too small so he always looks like he is about to spontaneously combust.

"You are all being too freaken loud. Do you want me to fire your asses?" he snapped and then he pointed to Shiori-san's friend and spat, "Ah~ you're like a rat infestation that just keeps coming back. How many times do I have to tell you? You don't even work here. Go home brat."

"Otani go to Cinema 6 immediately. Some kid just threw up in the aisle way and we can't leave it there the movie is just about to start. Then I want you to mop the restrooms. Somebody has been overflowing the men's bathrooms with water again." Manager Hayashi said with transparent malice. Then he slid back behind the door much like a snake retreating to its cave.

"Old man Hayashi really grinds my meat. He should be nicer to me since he's banging my Mother," growled Shiori-san angrily shovelling popcorn into cardboard buckets. Manager Hayashi is definitely not a pleasant person and he surely has it in for me.

Fighting back the urge to punch Manager Hayashi's bulgy face, I unwillingly drag myself away to get the mop and bucket out of the store room.

"Hey you! Excuse me?" snapped a disgruntled looking man addressing Shiori-san.

"What do you want", she answered rudely not even bothering to look up at him.

The man's eyes popped out slightly in shock,

"What a rude little…there is an Usagi hair clip in my popcorn!" yelled the man through gritted teeth.

"Yay! I found it!" Shiori-san exclaimed as she snatched the clip swiftly out of the man's grasp. The man uttered a swear word…he said something about insolence and he shuddered angrily. There was something unhinged about him but I had some vomit chunks to clean up so I left it to Shiori-san to deal with it.

In Cinema 6 it was quite obvious where the location of the vomit was because the people brave enough to stay in the theatre had moved to the further-est corners and they held their noses in disgust. A boy and his parents stood by the mess and the parents bowed deeply in apology. The boy looked up at his mother teary eyed.

"But Ma, I wanna stay and watch the movie" he sobbed.

"Enough already, Ta-chan" said the mother and the parents exchanged embarrassed looks. It was clear they planned to leave very quickly as soon as they were certain the mess had been cleaned up. I sighed and got to work.

"But Ma I wanna watch the basketball movie. I wanna play basketball like them one day. I wanna see it!" said the child who started to bawl in earnest.

His parents exchanged more awkward looks and this time the boy's father spoke.

"Er, basketball player? Ta-chan that's…you need to be very tall to be a basketball player and the genes in our family aren't really…" he trailed off. The kid looked distraught for a moment as if he just realised that his inevitable height would be a problem for him in life.

"It'll be ok kid. If you want to play then do it because you can do anything as long as you train really hard" I interrupted a little on the defence.

The boy seemed satisfied enough with what I said as I left the dark Cinema hurriedly.

As soon as I got out of the theatre Shiori-san's friend came running at me flailing her arms wildly.

"Otani! Otani a man just grabbed Shiori-chan and dragged her into the men's restroom!" she shrieked.

"He's crazy! I think he wants to hurt her" anguish fuelled tears started to run down her cheeks.

Before I could even think of what I was doing I was running towards the direction of the restroom. I opened the door with a loud bang and there was the man I'd seen earlier standing over a cowering Shiori-san who was curled up on the floor. Her uniform looked like it was half ripped and pulled off and she wore a vulnerable, pleading expression. That really got my blood boiling.

"Get away from her!" I hissed.

The man whipped his head around quickly and stared into my face. He then began to laugh maniacally.

"What are you going to do kid? Beat me with that mop?? This brat deserves what's coming to her, so get lost!" he said and then he smiled cruelly.

Kid? I narrowed my eyes and it wasn't until that point I realised I was still holding the vomit covered mop so without hesitation I hurled it at him. It hit him smack in the middle of his stupid smiling face. When he realised that there was an overpowering odour permeating from the mop's fabric tendrils he shrieked in disgusted surprise and fell back into one of the toilet stalls still with the mop attacking his face. And then FUOPSQUISH he humorously stumbled butt first into a porcelain toilet bowl.

"Gahhhh! Gross! My ass is all wet!" he screamed and made a dash for the exit door but he only got a few steps and then SWOOSH! he slipped over the wet floor that I hadn't gotten around to mop yet. He ascended into the air in slow motion like an ungraceful ballerina and then CRACK the man hit the back of his head on the tile floor. He lay there quite still, knocked out of course, but not dead.

Shiori-san started to shake and sob loudly on the floor.

"Shiori-san…" I said crouching down by her side.

"…Are you ok? Let's get you out of here." I grabbed her by the wrists and she looked up at me with doey, tear rimmed eyes that instantly reminded me of Koizumi's eyes whenever Koizumi got overly emotional.

"Otani-kun…is my…saviour" she said in between sobs.

Heheheh Saviour. A Cheshire cat-like grin spreads across my face. But truthfully...

"Huh, I didn't really do anything at all. This guy is probably a klutz and he fell over all by himself." I gestured to the unconscious man who now looked quite pathetic rather than scary lying with his arms spread out like the next messiah and a vomit covered mop still attached to his face like an angry octopus.

Then suddenly Shiori-san's teary eyes were only centimetres away from my own. Her lips touched to mine and her cold fingers were on either sides of my face. She kissed me.

"…thank you". She whispered in a soft voice that I didn't think was supposed belong to someone like Shiori-san.

The bullet train is heading to the inner city now and sophisticated buildings and billboards are becoming more prevalent and condensed. I let out another sigh. Of course I told Shiori-san that I have a girlfriend and she looked embarrassed after hearing that but now the real problem is how to tell Koizumi about it all.

A cold wave of dread suddenly washes over me as I picture her chilling doom filled expression and I feel such an earnest stab of guilt hit my stomach I instinctively wrap hands around my torso. For everyday we spend apart more and more of my memories are made that don't include Koizumi.

I can't help but reflect on my new relationships with people like Shiori-san or my University friends with a new found sense of shame. For three years in High school I had seen Koizumi almost everyday and even when I didn't she'd always be there in the same town and the same school. I didn't even appreciate our close proximity at the time but now I secretly yearn for it. Our lives moved like two streams flowing in the same direction but the space in between our streams continues to expand until perhaps one day our streams might flow in completely opposite directions. What if by the time I'm done with University we become different people? What can I do? There is nothing I can even think of preventing something like that. Of course, I can never tell her I feel this way. She is so stressed with studies she doesn't need my added pressure. Tsk, my own thoughts are more bothersome than anything else.

An announcement comes over the loud speaker that the train is about to board the station.

There is a flurry of activity at the station and crowds of people meeting up with sorely missed friends and relatives. People are walking together. Grandchildren hold hands with their grandparents, friends are jesting with each other in large groups and boyfriends grasp tightly the waists of their girlfriends.

I feel a twinge of jealousy as I glance over at one particular couple. The man is tall enough so that he rests his chin on his girlfriend's head when they hug. My cheeks flush with embarrassment. How funny would it look if I were to hug Koizumi in public? She would be the one resting _her _chin on _my_ head.

Speak of the devil. Amidst the crowd of moving bodies I spot a tall and slender girl with her deep caramel coloured hair pinned in a glossy side bun. I wade my way through the crowd to get to her. She is sitting on a bench slouching over in an unladylike kind of way with her back facing me. Every so I often see her lift her fingers to her head and mutter something as if she is counting aloud. I can't see her face but can tell she is concentrating hard on something. Tell me again why am I dating such a weirdo?

I break out in a big grin. I think Koizumi might have magical powers because regardless of whatever problems I have, as soon as I'm close to her my worries instantly evaporate and everything feels right again...

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_AN: Comments are gratefully accepted as this is my FIRST EVER fanfiction story and actually the first story I've written in over two years. I'm not that confident a writer anymore and so any constructive criticism or comments will be great! :)_

_Next chapter: A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream (not AS smutty as it sounds) but I still may need to change the rating after the next one._


	2. Chapter 2 A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream

**~Because I love you, Stupid~ Otani's Story **

_Otani and Koizumi decide to go to the local Forest Sprite Festival together. Koizumi is trying hard to make it a magical date because she doesn't get to spend much time with Otani anymore but Otani can tell that she is not being herself. What will become of the night? _

_AN: Sorry I took so long to update ^.^"Warning: this chapter does get a little lemony hence the new M rating._

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**Chapter Two: A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream**

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Koizumi and I hang out in our usual diner to avoid the heat of the day. She is absent-mindedly tapping her finger on the tabletop and I furrow my brows.

"Are you going to talk to me or am I just going to go home now?" I grumble.

I don't want to waste a second of our time together but Koizumi has utterly zonked out on me. How rude! Koizumi's blank expression suddenly re-animates to life with a CLICK. What? I think I actually hear a click and then the cogs in her brain kicking into motion.

"No! I'm sorry Otani. I was just thinking of something," She confesses.

I glance at her suspiciously but decide not to press her on the matter. Instead I change the subject.

"So what are we going to do tonight?"

Koizumi raises her voice in excitement. "Oh! I was planning that we could go to the Forest Sprite Festival in Hanamori Park tonight. Did you know that enchanted sprites come out during the festival?"

"Wuuuaaah! Otani! I just remembered that I got costumes for us to wear." She continues and her bright eyes sparkle.

Her quickly changing emotive state makes me smile. I relax and feign indifference.

"Yeah, if you want to go to that boring old festival I don't mind." I smirk.

Her phone buzzes to life with a tune I don't recognize. I'm slightly amused to realize that she has finally changed her ring tone.

"Oh, hi Mimi-chan!" exclaims Koizumi.

…Mimi-chan?

"No, I really did enjoy myself. Let's go shopping again sometime, ok."

Since when did my next door neighbor and my girlfriend go on shopping trips together?

"Yeah we'll be there….Uhuh…and you can speak to him then…ok have fun. See you later!"

Ok…that was weird. Koizumi and Mimi are on good terms now?

Ah…I was right. So many things seem to be changing around here. So many things seem to be different already. Koizumi too is having experiences that don't have anything to do with me.

.

Argh! I am so pissed off!

KOIZUMI I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!

It is just after sunset and Koizumi and I are in Hanamori Park for the Forest Sprite festival. I'm refusing to leave the change room because Koizumi is forcing me to wear a ridiculous outfit. To make matters worse, I had left all of my clothes on top of the door while I was changing and Koizumi must have stolen them. I look down at my body and I feel deeply depressed. I'm wearing a hideous green tunic with a brown leather belt, a pair of grey pants and knee-high brown leather boots. The outfit comes with a green cap that I flat-out refuse to wear. I sigh in despair because I resemble Link from the game Zelda. Of course Koizumi would choose an outfit like this because she is such a gaming freak!

I can hear Koizumi's footsteps from outside of the change room door.

"Otani come out. You can't stay in there."

"Shut up! I can stay in here all night! All night, you hear me!" I fume.

"Aw…but then if you stay in there all night then we won't get to spend our time together." she whines but I can hear muffled sounds of laughter.

"I know you got this costume in kid's size. I read the label on the back! How could you!" I hiss.

Then Koizumi speaks in a small sheepish voice "Well…you're not the only one who was given the wrong costume." She reveals.

"I bet you will look really adorable in that costume though." teases Koizumi.

I can't take her derisive tone anymore so I throw open the door and draw a breath to scream in her face.

"HEY YOU! SHUT YOUR M…" I freeze.

Koizumi…?

My mouth falls open wordlessly.

Koizumi is standing in front of me looking like a jumbo sized fairy princess. She is wearing a glittery ice blue dress that barely reaches above her mid thigh and thigh-high white stockings. On her back is a pair of dynamite encrusted fairy wings. Her shiny hair is adorned with a woven ribbon that wraps around her forehead.

"Ah! Otani-Chibichan!" she says and her eyes glint momentarily with sparkly amusement. Then she starts to clutch at her own clothing nervously and lowers her face to avoid my gaze.

"They made a mistake and gave me a more risqué cosplay outfit then what I had intended to get." She wails.

I shoot a murderous glance at group of guys that have clustered close by. They are staring at Koizumi with interest but she hasn't noticed the attention she is receiving. Koizumi raises her head with a look of agitation and shouts at me, "WHAT!? Say something and stop staring at me like that you are making me feel…weird"

….pffffft…

I can't hold it in the laughter any longer.

"Ahahaha Koizumi you look freaking weird. What possessed you to even consider wearing that??" I say while choking on waves of laughter.

SMACK!

Her hand connects with the back of my head.

"Stop being an idiot Otani." Says Koizumi calmly.

Then she adds in a guilt riddled tone, "I wasn't paying enough attention before and I kind of...left our clothing on a bench for a few minutes. When I turned around they were gone…"

"WHAT!!! You lost my jeans!? "I roar.

Damn it. I had just bought those jeans...

"We could go home and change but I don't want to waste any more time. Since our time together is scarce I want to spend every moment with you here."

Her tone is heartfelt and thoughtful and it softens me up a bit.

…Koizumi. My cheeks are flushing red.

"Ok…lets stay" I say.

.

My embarrassment starts to wear off as I notice that almost everyone at the festival is dressed in silly sprite costumes. I guess you could say we actually blend in. It is such a warm night that most of the girls are wearing short, revealing costumes. As if to compensate there are a lot of 'pervy' guys here too. I notice with discomfort at the amount of guys that keep ogling Koizumi as we walk past. They are probably wondering if she is a model or has some foreign blood which could explain her statuesque appearance. I have half a mind to wrap my arms around her protectively to shield her from their lustful gazes. However, I don't act on these thoughts. Why should I feel the need to do something so very embarrassing? I ponder on this thought for a moment and shoot her a questioning look. Koizumi is still in a kind of prolonged happy daze. What's this girl thinking about to be able to have such a happy demeanor?

She turns to me and says, "You know, they say that on this night all the forest sprites come out and bring feelings love to unsuspecting couples. If you happen to see a forest sprite you must try to capture it because they can bring you never-ending love"

I don't really understand the point of her story but it sounds kind of sappy so I pull a disgusted face.

"Someone might mistake you for a magical little sprite and try to lure you away from me" she adds in a mock sugary voice.

"Ugh, stop thinking of me as something so pathetic!" I snarl and my face contorts with fury.

She raises her finger to her chin and speaks to herself randomly in a distant voice. "Fairy…boy…"

CHK!?…WHAT? GRRR…

The vein on my forehead pulsates violently with indignation. She breaks into a fit of laughter and grabs hold of my hand unexpectedly.

"Let's do all the fun festival things! I promise tonight will be like magic, ne"

.

I allow myself to be carted around like a rag doll from stall to stall. Thousands of small lanterns are hanging from cords above colorful stalls and from trees. They are glowing in the balmy night like large fireflies. Groups of young children run through the crowds of people with pink and blue clouds of fairy floss* on sticks. There are stalls selling books, gemstones and other mysterious items. There is even a talent show on a small stage that is surrounded by people. We stare in amazement at a contortionist bending her body into a shape similar to a pretzel. There is pop music playing somewhere in the distance and the aroma of delicious food wafts through the air appetizingly. To Koizumi's and my delight there are all sorts of flashy carnival games and side shows.

"Oi, you two…" beckons a low raspy voice.

Koizumi and I whip around and see a small old lady with a prune-like face.

"Us?" Koizumi squeaks and her grip on my arms tighten with fear.

The old lady isn't wearing a costume but she reminds me of a witch out of a one of those bedtime stories. She is wrapped in mismatching fabrics. Her ash colored hair is thinning and the iris of her left eye is permanently pointing down which suggests that the eye is made of glass. Koizumi and I both stare wordlessly at her like two rude children.

"……………………"

"……………………"

"……………………"

"……………eye," blurts Koizumi.

I face-palm.

"Hmph, how rude." the old lady growls in her rattle snake voice.

"Ah! Sorry! Sorry!" Koizumi shouts and then she starts bowing in apology. Her hand pushes against the back of my head and she guides it up and down in a show of apology too.

The old lady merely sighs and rolls her eye.

"You two are lovers right? Lovers are my specialty."

She gestures to us with a finger, "Come closer."

Lured in by the old lady's words, Koizumi's eyes sparkle and then she seems to float forward on a puff of air.

"Don't go Koizumi I think she is a witch" I whisper.

"Kyah! Why yes, we are lovers." Koizumi gushes and pulls me towards her roughly. Her arms are hugging around my head and my face is pressed up against her chest. I blush profusely. She doesn't understand my discomfort and addresses the old witch lady again.

"Are you a fortune teller?"

"LOVERS!? Don't say such a dirty word." I scoff in a half-muffled voice as I fight to break free from the iron grip she has on my skull.

She ignores me and continues to speak. "Say, Obaasama tell me…What's in my future?"

"No I can only tell you the destiny of your relationship." says the old lady.

Koizumi and I freeze. My stomach goes cold.

"…Koizumi" I say.

"Do you not want to find out what is going to come out of your relationship?" interjects the old lady.

"Hm…I…" Koizumi ponders.

"Koizumi"

"250¥ please." declares the lady with a toothless grin.

Koizumi reaches into her pocket and indecisively pulls out a handful of coins.

"Hold out your other hand, I'll read your palm"

"K-koi…" I splutter and panic is rising inside me.

Koizumi obeys the old lady who takes her palm and examines it for a long moment. The old lady then furrows her brows.

"KOIZUMI," I yell.

I quickly snatch her hand out of the old lady's grasp and take flight.

The earth is pounding under my feet and I nearly collide with moving bodies as I sprint with Koizumi trailing behind me. I don't know exactly why I'm in such a panic. What am I running from? This old lady might know our destiny…but why is that so scary to me? We are in a different part of the festival when I finally stop. Koizumi looks spent and she gasps for air as she clutches at her knees. She shoots me a sly look.

"You're kind of weird" she sniggers.

My stomach tightens and I peer into her knowing face. I don't need to say it. She understands completely.

Then she smacks the back of the head.

"Man, you lost me 250¥. YOU IDOT!"

"C'mon I'm shouting you to some arcade games," I smile.

.

Koizumi seems so cheerful tonight and it cheers me up too. We walk around aimlessly examining the different type of arcade games available in side-show alley. Koizumi is gazing dreamily at a particularly violent arcade game. As she does this I happen to I notice the way the fabric of her dress clings to her body stopping just before the point of her upper thigh. I bite my lip, look away and quickly start analyzing the faces of the people walking past us again. This time they stare at us peculiarly and their faces are saying "Look at that chibiko guy with that tall beauty". I frown. I feel like an annoying bee hovering around a really tall flower. Koizumi must notice the sour look on my face. She purposely bumps into my arm and my thoughts are interrupted. She then puts her arms around me and stoops down to rest her chin on my shoulder. Her smiling face is so close to mine. She catches me by surprise and I can't help but blush as I pull away from her.

"Why'd you do that for?" I say nervously.

She stops walking and lowers her face. Did I hurt her feelings?

"Why don't you want to be affectionate with me in public?" she agonizes.

Huh?…we do touch in public but not often in a romantic way. I suppose I never realized she wanted to do more of that stuff in public…

But…

How can a bee like me get affectionate with a tall flower like her and not be laughed at?

"Well…you never wanted to do that type of thing before…and it kind of looks odd…" I stammer.

"Are you…? Are you ashamed of me?" she asks and her tone cuts through me.

No! You are wrong! It's my own height that bothers me. I'm not fit to be seen doing that type of thing with you because…I'm small!

"That's not it at all. Don't speak such nonsense."

I sigh. Why does she get under my skin like this?

"Hm, well if you are looking a more affectionate guy you can always give me a shot Risa,." Smirks Haruka.

He is standing directly over me. I cringe away from him in alarm because I can feel his warm breath on the top of my head. Koizumi just glances at him with a blank expression.

"No it's ok Haruka. I'm fine with the midget" Koizumi says bluntly.

She shoots me a steely look and crosses her arms.

Haruka is dressed as some sort of a princely sprite. His hair is slicked back with gel and he wears a golden crown. I snigger to myself.

"Risa honey, you look totally adorable tonight! Wuuaaah you are truly breath taking." he squeals.

I can see Koizumi blush as she nervously tugs down the hem of her dress and I narrow my eyes at her. Then Haruka makes a quick side-glance at me and smirks. Argh! I am going to break his face! I am going to do it!

"Risa dear, you must come to watch me at the Enchanted Garden theatre later. I'm playing Demetrius in a Midsummer Night's Dream. I'm going to be ever so marvellous" Haruka laments. He flashes a bewitching smile that sends cold shivers down my spine.

"Er…ok, sure …we'll come to see your play. We're meeting some people down that way anyway" Koizumi says.

I push Haruka out of my personal space but in one swift movement he slides effortlessly in between Koizumi and I. Then Seiko appears and beats Haruka over the head with a baton. He…er, no sorry,_ she_ is wearing a frilly pink dress tonight and she looks like a pink blossom sprite.

"Otani sempai! Long time no see~ Don't mind Haruka he doesn't know when to quit" she laughs.

"Hi Seiko, how have you been?" I say.

"Erm, not good actually…" Seiko frowns.

"Eh? What do you mean?" Koizumi asks with concern burning in her eyes.

Seiko lowers her voice and mumbles, "I feel like there is someone just over my shoulder watching everything I do."

Suddenly, I too get the odd feeling of being watched by somebody just outside of my line of vision.

"Heh? That's kind of creepy," I agree.

.

Koizumi and I decide to stop over at the talent show stage we'd seen earlier. It is now crowded with more people. There is a young magician wearing a black cape but under it I can see that he is wearing normal track pants and Nike shoes.

"Hello everyone my name is Shinji Matsutake* and I'm going to perform magic for you tonight" He announces in a confident voice. Everybody in the audience is already bemused by his name.

He brings out three oranges.

"See these oranges? I am going to make one of them disappear" he promises.

Then without warning he tosses them up into the air and draws out a long piece of bamboo. He strikes one of them with such force that it hurls through the air and smashes into an unsuspecting stall like a missile.

"Whoops, that wasn't meant to happen ladies and gentlemen" he confesses with a hint of disappointment.

The crowd stares at him with a mixture of confusion and amusement. I have no idea what he is planning to do but he looks like a potential danger to himself.

"Er, anyway I need a helper for my next trick. Any volunteers?" he says trying to regain some confidence.

"Yes, yes this guy right here."

It takes me a second to register that Koizumi's finger is poking the side of my head. It was her who had just spoken. Koizumi ignores my adamant protests and practically shoves me onto the stage.

"Everybody give the young gentleman a round of applause." Beams Matsutake.

He freezes and peers into my face.

"Doesn't he look adowable in his widdle faiwy costume" Matsutake announces in a booming voice. He is obviously searching for laughs and the audience doesn't disappoint him. I'm fuming.

A nervous look spreads over Koizumi's face because she picks up on my murderous vibe.

She clears her throat and shouts, "No he's not adorable at all. He's a man! Yup! Just the type of man I like"

She stands tall with her hands on her hips. Some of the guys in the audience swoon when they get a good look at her in that raunchy costume and they shoot me envious glares.

Koizumi why must you be so embarrassing?

"Er right, whatever..." Matsutake says.

He stuffs me inside a wooden chest before I can protest. It is dark and cramped inside the chest. I'm getting really mad. Even in the chest I can still hear Matsutake's voice quite clearly.

"Now ladies and gentlemen here we have a sturdy chest. It is impenetrable but …"

I notice that there is a small knob grazing my shoulder…heh what is this?

"Now that I've locked the chest there is no way of opening it again…" he says dramatically.

I accidentally apply a little pressure to the knob and the walls of the chest collapse around me. The audience breaks into a fit of laughter. Matsutake looks down at me in horror and I try to apologize for ruining his trick. Before I have a chance to escape he literally ropes me into a second trick. He ties me up in ropes and furiously binds my limbs tightly while double knotting wherever possible with a look of utter determination.

Then he turns back to the crowd and announces, "Now see here ladies and gentleman this young man was able to defy my chest but he won't be able to defy my military grade knotting abilities. I'm about to…"

I get an insatiable itch on the back of my wrist and I make a spontaneous jerk to the left. Then without warning all of the ropes effortlessly detangle and fall to my feet. Matsutake the Magician and I stare at each other with shock again.

"That guy is amazing he managed to foil another magic trick." shouts somebody in the audience.

And then another calls out, "The Magician should call himself Matsutake the bumbling Magician!"

Matsutake's face looks red and splotchy. He turns to me gritting his teeth and at the exact moment he opens his mouth to swear at me-

THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD!

One by one several oranges begin to drop quickly out of a secret compartment from in the back of his cape. They appear to drop out from a place in between his legs 6, 7, 8, 9 10 oranges all rolling in different directions off the stage. How did he keep so many oranges under his cape? The audience roars with laughter again.

I feel bad for the guy I must admit so I follow him off stage to apologize.

"You ruined my whole show boy. Now how am I supposed to make it big when everyone thinks I'm a joke?" he growls with teeth gnashing.

"Er, sorry I-I didn't mean t-to..." I stutter.

Man! This took a turn for the worst.

Matsutake the Magician suddenly flashes his violent streak. He raises his bamboo stick menacingly. I don't think quickly enough of what I should do. Instead I shrink back and wait to be struck.

"DON"T HIT MY OTANI" Koizumi shrieks. Suddenly I found myself being enveloped in her arms and then...

**SMACK**

I look up in shock to see the bamboo stick connecting with Koizumi's shoulder.

"YOU HURT MY GIRLFRIEND YOU F%#€$*& PSYCHO!!!" I roar.

Flames of fury are spewing out of me. I take a misguided swing at a dumbfounded Matsutake.

"Don't worry about it Otani" says Koizumi.

She is smiling but tears are prickling at the corners of her eyes. Koizumi tightens her arms around me. Then she practically picks me up and drags me away.

"Just forget it. It doesn't even hurt and it was all my fault anyway I shouldn't have volunteered you." She insists. Then she flashes a dazzling smile but her eyes aren't smiling at all.

It's the first time I have come to realize just how strange Koizumi is acting tonight.

.

I'm still worried about Koizumi but she persists with her story that she is completely fine. We head down to a spot sectioned off from the main festival called the Enchanted Garden. There is a theatrical stage and rows and rows of lawn chairs. Already there are some people sitting in them. I spot something strange in the foliage near some chairs. The bush is rustling unnaturally and then it sprouts legs. I widen my eyes in disbelief.

"Ah! Mimi-chan~!" exclaims Koizumi. I squint in the waning light and I see Mimi sitting next to a boy I recognize as Koizumi's younger brother, Takato-kun.

"A-chan! I've missed you so much!" Mimi calls. Then she looks like she is about to choke when she realizes how I'm dressed.

"Risa you dumbass! Why did force Atsushi to wear that hideous outfit?"

"Well…um heheh" splutters Koizumi.

"I totally agree with you Mimi…" I say.

"But please refrain from calling my girlfriend a dumbass. Only I should get the right to call her a dumbass."

"HEH? What the heck are you on about? You are the dumbass!" Koizumi retaliates.

"Well you were the one who lost all of my clothes!" I chide.

"I lost _both_ of our clothing thank you very much."

"That doesn't make you less of a dumbass. That makes you more of one"

We argue like this for a solid ten minutes until we grow tired of the subject. Mimi and Takato-kun look at us wearily. I notice that Mimi and Takato-kun aren't dressed in costumes. My eyes dart from Mimi to Takato-kun and then back to Mimi again. Something about their body language suggests something suspicious. I can't help but display a big mischievous grin.

"Wah! Are you two dating?" I ask.

This question suddenly makes them shift uncomfortably. Koizumi kicks me.

"It's only early days so please be a bit more sensitive" she murmurs.

"Er, well…uh sort of…" stutters Takato-kun and he gives Mimi a nervous look.

They must have met through Koizumi somehow. That would explain why Mimi and Koizumi have been hanging around together lately. I have never actually seen Mimi with any other guy before. The more I think about it the more I can see that Takato-kun is the right guy for her. Plus they are close in age. Mimi-chan looks like she is glowing with new found love and I break out into another smile.

"Good for you Mimi-chan. I'm glad to see you looking so happy" I cheer.

.

The play isn't ready to begin yet but more and more people and are filling the seats. There is buzz of energy. Koizumi is deep in conversation with Mimi-chan and Takato-kun so I scan the crowd in half a daze. My eyes fall upon something peculiar in the bushes. Hm…? I swear I spot a pair of feet coming from behind a bush but as soon as I blink they are gone.

"Risa honey, you came~" rejoices Haruka as he strides over to greet Koizumi. He is still dressed in his princely get-up. Seiko follows not far behind and is smiling.

In the corner of my eye I see that same bush shaking in the shadows and I scratch my head in confusion. That bush…it moved did it not?

"Seiko-chan have I told you already that you look adorable in that dress?" Koizumi gushes.

"Seiko looks fit enough to be one of my girlfriends. If only she didn't have a little extra bit of meat in between her legs" Haruka chimes in. He playfully grabs Seiko around the waist.

"No!" screams the bush.

…………er what?

Am I the only one who heard the bush scream "No"?

"Hey Seiko-chan I've always wondered where you hide that thing of yours" Haruka continues.

"This is guy is so crass" murmurs Takato-kun to Mimi-chan.

"You are so horrible Haruka-sempai!" Seiko cries and she pushes him away.

Haruka bends over and he pretends to look under Seiko's dress

"NO DON'T" Screams the bush again.

This time I don't doubt what I hear and I stand up. I walk over to the 'screaming' bush in three strides. Just as I thought! There are feet coming out from under the branches.

"Oi you" I say.

"Huh?" replies the bush timidly.

I pull at the leaves with some force and a boy tumbles forth onto the ground in front of us.

"Woah! Where did that boy come from?" screeches Koizumi and everyone turns to stare.

The boy looks up and he swells up with embarrassment.

"So er…what were you doing hiding in the bushes?" I inquire.

"I-I…I," stutters the boy and he clear his throat.

"You!" squawks the boy who points to Seiko.

Seiko looks taken aback.

"Me?" she whimpers.

"F-for years now I've seen you around school but you've never noticed me" he confesses.

"Oh, are you the one who has been watching me from afar?" Seiko asks.

"Y-yeah but only because I'm so shy…b-but I'm just going to suck it up and just say it now!"

Then the boy stares down Seiko with intensity and professes, "Seiko-chan I like you please go out with me"

"What! No way! A confession!? Er, you do realize that Seiko is really Seishirou a guy right?" remarks Haruka. His eyes are popping out of his head in disbelief.

"Of course I know that! But I really don't care because Seiko-chan is much cuter than anyone I've ever met!"

"EH??" exclaims Seiko.

"No-one has ever confessed to me before, I thought nobody would ever like me" Seiko weeps.

"YAY! This is so exciting! Go Seiko-chan go!" chants Koizumi. I cover her mouth so she won't ruin their moment.

The boy looks relieved and he gets up onto his feet then he says, "O-oh well…just think about what I said"

He leans forward quickly and pecks Seiko on the cheek much to the shock of everybody. Seiko blushes a brighter shade of red.

"It feels really good now that everything is out in the open." He beams.

Then suddenly he quickly turns on his heels and runs away down the garden path and disappears into the night.

"Haha weird guy. Why did he just run away like that?" sniggers Haruka.

Hm, he had said _"It feels really good now that everything is out in the open."_

That reminds me…there was still something I needed to get out in the open.

.

I wait until Haruka is out of earshot before I speak.

"Koizumi, I need to tell you something" I say.

"What is it?" She looks down at me and is confused.

"Er, you're gonna get mad…" I warn her.

She shoots me a look that tells me she is not in the mood for anything cryptic. I look down at my hands and to avoid eye contact with her.

"Um, well ok…last night a girl I work with erm…s-she…she kissed me."

SNAP

I swear I hear something snap and I look up in panic. Koizumi doesn't speak she just stares at fixed point. Her face turns to stone. Had I made a mistake?? Mimi-chan calls over to us and I turn my head to face her.

"A-chan! Risa! Sit down the play is about to start"

But as soon as I turn around Koizumi has already turned her back to me and she is walking away angrily.

"Koizumi!"

"Don't follow," she warns.

.

The play begins and I'm too worried to pay complete attention. I ignore Mimi and Takato-kun's looks of concern and I slump in my seat.

Mimi leans forward and pats my hand in condolence but then she says, "Do you know how unhappy Risa has been lately?"

"Huh?" I gasp.

"Well the only time Mimi sees her act so happy is when you come home" She pouts.

"Every other time I've seen her this week she's a completely different person. She just seems so stressed out" adds Takato-kun.

She seemed fine tonight. No actually she didn't seem fine. The image of Koizumi cradling her arm after that Matsutake bozo had struck her floods back to my mind. My blood boils again. She didn't act like herself at all. I'm such an idiot that I didn't even realize something was up with her sooner. She was trying to brush it off as nothing so that the incident wouldn't spoil our night together. Then I had to go and tell her something that would make her feel insecure. I suddenly feel really bad.

Half way through the play Koizumi resumes her seat next to me wordlessly. I want to know what she is thinking but I can't read her expression. She doesn't say anything until the minute the play finally ends and everybody starts to leave.

"Otani…"

She takes hold of my hand and I instantly freeze but I force myself to speak quickly.

"Do you want me to take you home?" I ask.

She doesn't look at me for a moment but when she finally does I can see some untold resolve lingering there in her eyes.

"Let's go for a little walk, ok."

.

What does she want to say to me? What in the world is going on in her head? We are walking away from the festival to a clearing on the fringe of Hanamori Pcark. The night is comfortably warm. Out here we only have the light of the moon to help us see in night. Somehow Koizumi seems to be shining in the semi darkness. She leads me to a park bench and sits down on the table surface. I sit next to her and neither of us speaks for a long moment. Other than the sounds of lively cicadas chirping and the faint sounds of the festival in the distance there is an impenetrable silence.

"Otani, did you have fun with me tonight?"

"Er, yeah…of course"

Even though I have caused her so much trouble...

She winces suddenly and clutches at the shoulder that was hit by that Matsutake Magician jerk. I tense up with anger again. Maybe I should go find him later after I take Koizumi home? A devilish desire engulfs me momentarily.

"Does it hurt?" I ask and I gingerly press my fingers to her shoulder.

"Er no. It's fine fine fine!" she lies.

She falls silent again and I'm confused as to why she had brought me out here. I wonder what she is thinking now.

Koizumi swings her body around so that she is on my lap. Before I can take a second to breathe her soft mouth plunges into mine forcefully.

I stare at her and my eyes are wide with surprise. Hers are closed, her face radiating desire. W-why is she being so bold all of a sudden?? I can't shake the mind numbing shivers invading every cell in my body.

She is being so unexpectedly forward. I'm conflicted because I'm finding it hard to respond but don't want her to stop. Then her hands find there way up my thighs in a maddening way that leaves me feeling vulnerable. Koizumi seems full of impatience as she starts to bite my bottom lip. Warm heat starts to rise up from underneath my skin. I close my eyes and sink deeper into the kiss. I can feel her heartbeat accelerating against my own chest and a dormant need awakens in the pit of my stomach.

"Koizumi…" I breathe.

My lips caress her chin. I shudder with excitement and let out an embarrassing moan that even I'm surprised to hear come out of my mouth. I can't take it any longer. I pull her in closer by the waist so that our bodies make full contact. I want her so much…

But her body goes limp and her lips cease to move furiously against mine. I open my eyes and I'm confronted by Koizumi's panic stricken face. She looks like she is about to puke.

What? D-do I…do I really evoke this sort of reaction out of her??

Then suddenly I realize my erection is pressed up against her stomach and in a panic I push her off my lap. She goes tumbling onto the grass with a thud.

"I'm sorry I pushed you off so roughly." I say meekly. I wait for her to answer me with a sharp retort.

Something like_ "Otani you jerk!"_ or "_You really thought I was going to fool around with you just now, huh?"_ But instead she merely lowers her head in silence looking depressed and her shoulders are hunched over.

What was all that about? She had suddenly seemed so eager that it completely caught me off guard but then…oh, I see…

"Koizumi, I don't want you to do anything like that again until you are sure…" I insist

"Heh…?"

There is confusion in her tone but I don't look up to see her expression.

I slide off the table so that I can crouch on the ground next to her. I'm still not looking at her and I'm thankful for the darkness. Perhaps she is looking at me. I busy myself by tracing my fingertip through the grass and I start to speak.

"You think that by forcing yourself to be…more intimate with me all of a sudden will fix our issues? You've got it wrong. I'll stick by you no matter what be-because…I don't want anybody else…"

My face is glowing red. I still don't look up to see her reaction until I hear her crying. Then finally she speaks.

"It's just that…for everyday we spend apart more and more of my memories are made that don't include Otani. I don't know what to do."

Ah…

"I don't know what to do either. But I know eventually things will be okay somehow." I say honestly.

"Right!" she chirps.

"Mimi-chan told me you have been hiding your unhappiness from me…"

She pouts in silence.

"Well…you know you can tell me whatever you like, ne." I reassure her.

Koizumi blinks and a few stray tears start to fall from her eyes. "It's one of my teachers. He picks on me all the time."

"What? Who is this jerk!? Tell me his name!!" I demand and my hands tense into fists.

"No. Don't worry about it…I…I just need to work even harder then everyone else...but…" She pauses for a moment and her mouth tightens into a thin line.

"…am I really stupid?" she finally croaks.

"…you are" I say, trying to tease her with poorly executed humor.

After seeing a heart sunken look spread across her face I let out a sigh. I take her hands again and hold them in mine.

"Of course Koizumi, you're not going to be a rocket scientist but you'll become a brilliant stylist. I know you will be. That guy sounds like a real lowlife. You should give me his address" I say and my words are tinted with fury.

In the darkness her chocolate eyes suddenly lock onto mine. I drop my gaze again and I continue to feel more flustered by the second but I will myself to speak more.

"And also…you are the kindest and most determined person I've ever known." I say in a small voice.

"So you'll get all the things you want eventually. You got me didn't you?"

Koizumi blushes. She leans closer and kisses me softly on the lips.

Now I'm simmering in the darkness.

"Thank you. That is the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me" Koizumi blubbers.

"So are you in a better mood now? I ask.

"Un…"she nods.

I grin and say, "So um about this business of being more affectionate in public…"

"Er, I know it makes you feel uncomfortable so just forget about it for now." She interrupts.

"Well actually I was thinking we could try to ease into it by using pet names…or something."

"How 'bout it _honey~_" I say with a cheeky wink.

Koizumi turns white.

"D-d-disgusting! Don't ever utter that word again. It doesn't sound good at all coming from you" she rants.

I take one look at her expression and start laughing uncontrollably.

Koizumi breaks out into a smile that I wasn't prepared for. Tears are still pooling under her eyes. Idiot. Why does she have to make my heart ache when we're alone like this? I might just fall even deeper in love with her. I don't like to see her getting upset so I brush her tears away with my hands.

"Stop crying! You look so ugly when you cry." I tease.

"How can you say that?! I cry because I love you so much" she says through persistent sobs until she starts laughing too.

"I can't believe you lost my pants. How can I go anywhere dressed like this?"

We are now giggling in the darkness. What an absurd night! I'm finding that every moment spent with Koizumi is worth more than any other to me. However, I can't bring myself to tell her instead I lean closer and plant a kiss on her wet, tear streaked cheek.

It's ok if nothing ever changes in our relationship physically. I'll still be very happy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

The night is enchanted because sprites really do linger in the forest out of sight of the unsuspecting lovers. The sprites light up the night like earthbound stars. They can be found roosting in trees, illuminating the night like thousands of fireflies. Koizumi takes me by the hand and drags me around from stall to stall. We come across an old witch with a diamond for an eye. She tries to steal something out of my hand. It is a jar containing Koizumi's heart. The old witch pulls it out of my hand and I lose my grip. It smashes to the ground before I can save it. Koizumi is displeased with me and she runs off. I chase after her but get lost in a crowd of people. There is a bush with legs and it is scurrying ahead of me. I call out to it but it moves much faster than I do. The bush leads me to a man dressed in a long black cape. He wears a large mushroom the size of a dinner plate on his head. This man claims to be a magician and he tells me he will make Koizumi appear out of a chest but when I open the chest it is empty. He laughs and tries to slice me in half with a bamboo stick but a benevolent giant bores the brunt of the attack.

The scene changes again and Koizumi and I are sitting in a deserted park. There are enchanted lanterns floating in mid air around us. Koizumi is dressed in her provocative fairy gown. I'm still dressed as a Zelda game sprite. Before I realize it, Koizumi's arms are around me and her lips are pressed against my shoulder. I don't pull away.

"Otani I want you so much" she trembles.

"I want you too" I murmur.

I feel the erection in my pants throb painfully and she puts her hand over it without shame. I am too affected to remain calm any longer. I look up into her face and read the fire burning in her eyes. I lay her down slowly on the bench top and press my lips to her neck moving down to her collarbone. Koizumi pulls up the hem of her dress. I pause so I can admire the way the moonlight illuminates her pale thighs. I badly want to touch them so I drag my thumb up her right thigh forcing her legs apart. I stop just in the right spot until her breathing becomes unstable and I shudder as I revel in her pleasure. Then I position myself between her thighs and now that I'm on top of her she grabs my face and kisses me. Her skin feels dewy and warm. Her body feels amazing against mine and then…and then…

_Ahhhhhhhhhhn……_

My head is spinning uncomfortably. I open my eyes and see my ceiling fan making a slow revolution. I gradually come back to earth and I realize I'm still in my childhood bedroom. It must be the early hours of the morning because the cool blue morning light shines onto my laminated poster of Umibouzu that hangs on the wall. One last excited shiver escapes my body. I turn my head in protest and resist the images of the dream from flooding back. After a half a minute I shift uncomfortably in my bed because my entire body is hot and dewy with sweat. Then I come to the realization.

Oh crap, I've messed myself.

It's 5am and I'm now in a fresh pair of pants sitting alone on the back porch. A fresh gust of air tugs playfully on my hair but stings my eyes. My head feels heavy from being filled with too many thoughts. In a few hours I will be on another long train ride back to university but right now I enjoy the early morning silence. I have never had a wet dream that included Koizumi before. My cheeks flush with embarrassment because the dream was so unrealistic. Koizumi wouldn't be like_ that_ and I would never be _that_ bold. Especially seeing as both of us are still virgins. No, I imagine it would end up being kind of awkward for a number of reasons. I draw my legs closer to my chest so that I can rest my chin on my knees. I had put these kinds of thoughts out of my mind for quite sometime once I had realized Koizumi wasn't ready to go further. We have been dating for a while but we'd never done anything more than kiss. I was completely fine with that but now…all of these desires that I never realized existed keep surfacing.

I bite my bottom lip again.

I can't help but want to be with Koizumi physically.

.

* * *

AN: This chapter turned out to be so long and I actually had to cut a lot of ideas out including a whole subplot dedicated to parodying A Midsummer Night's Dream *sigh*

*Fairy Floss – in some countries it is known as cotton candy but here in my country it's known as fairy floss and I'm more comfortable using that term

*Matsutake – a type mushroom found in Japan

I'm trying hard not to get too graphic and smutty because my beloved characters aren't porn stars. They are two inexperienced people who are kind of innocent minded to begin with. The fun part is seeing just how far they are willing to open up to each other physically. And so I will continue to explore with concept without censorship.

Actually it's difficult writing from Otani's POV since I'm not a man but I hope I'm doing a decent job portraying his desires and reactions.

Thanks for reading ^__^

Next Chapter: 3 – Unexpected Desire


	3. Chapter 3 Unexplained Dispositions

**~Because I love you, Stupid~ Otani's Story**

_AN: Hi everyone. I'm going to update three chapters over the next day or two. So I hope nobody minds. The chapters were actually apart of one very long chapter but I decided to separate them. I really enjoyed writing these chapters so I hope you enjoy reading them._

* * *

**Chapter Three - Unexplained Dispositions**

I'm in the back of the lecture room and I'm listening to my Professor babble on about some dull subject. His words fail to sink in and I'm hoping that he won't single me out to answer a question because I haven't taken any notes. It's late October and the weather has cooled down a lot. Ironically so has my love life. From the night of the festival onwards, I think I traumatised Koizumi. There can be no other explanation for her bizarre behaviour of late. I rest my chin on my palm and slowly exhale. My eyes search for the clock and I watch the seconds tick by. It's hard to concentrate on my lecture now because I keep thinking about how weird things have gotten. Lately, Koizumi finds ways to avoid being left alone with me. Also, I often hear her muttering to herself like an old hag. If I happen to innocently appear behind her without her realising, she goes rigid and glares down at me with malice.

Then she hisses at me in a low voice. "I get it. You want my cookies don't you? My cookies…."

I don't know what she means by "cookies" but she manages to make me feel like a pervert. It's like she is expecting me to 'jump' her at any moment.

A few weeks earlier I was invited over to the Koizumi household for dinner. Mrs. Koizumi made a delicious Sukiyaki hotpot. When we sat down to eat Koizumi seemed on edge again. Whenever Koizumi's arm brushed past mine at the dining table she flinched as if I had shocked her with an electrified current. Every time she was startled she jumped and the whole dining table shook. Food would fly out of bowls and onto the tablecloth. Her family didn't seem to take much notice and I wondered if they were used to Koizumi's antics. I also wondered if I would ever get used to her antics.

After dinner we found ourselves alone in the sitting room. We were having a normal conversation about Umibouzu's upcoming movie. Everything seemed normal and I was beginning to relax. Then maybe we were sitting too close, I don't know for sure what had triggered it but she suddenly froze up like a statue. She stared through me with wide, fearful eyes remaining motionless for what seemed like a minute. It was creepy so I grabbed her shoulders and shook her to snap out of the trance.

"My cookies aren't ready; they are still baking in the oven." She snapped and then she smacked me across the head with a fair amount of force.

I moved out of arms length of her and cradled my sore head in annoyance.

"What cookies? Who said anything about cookies? Stop mentioning these non-existent cookies!" I burst out in anger.

My pride was hurt but mostly I was concerned for her. It was obvious that she didn't feel comfortable around me anymore.

"I know I'm being jumpy." she said in a defeated tone.

I forced a smile, "Don't worry about it. It's completely F-I-N-E"

Could it be…?

On that night at the festival we were kissing and things had gotten kind of intense. I had lost control of myself and ended up getting a little 'excited'. Had it scared her so much?

I really don't have time to be thinking about her right now. Ok! From now on I just have to put her out of mind.

I force myself not to think about Koizumi. Now won over by my new resolve I attempt to focus on what the Professor is saying.

"Please read your textbooks from chapters fifteen to twenty-two and write out the draft for your essays before next class" He says in a pompous tone.

Wha~? So much homework for one week and no free time at all! I think I'm going to cry.

Everybody in the lecture room groans. Shiozaki shoots me a side glance and rolls her eyes.

"No groaning. You're dismissed."

"Finally," I murmur softly so that only Shiozaki can hear me.

"I was looking around the room and lots of people seemed to be confused." Shiozaki says with a dazed look on her face.

"Uhuh" I agree solemnly.

"Yo Chappi let's go to the library and get a head start on that essay. I noticed that you didn't take any notes? You can borrow mine. I wont take no for an answer."

"Um…are you sure? Thank you." I stammer gratefully.

Shiozaki is now whistling cheerfully to herself. She is a really happy girl. Despite the fact that she was the one who gave me such an ugly nickname I'd have to say that Shiozaki is one of the nicest people I've met at University.

"Satoruuuuuuu~"

Shiozaki runs ahead of me and practically glomps her boyfriend Tsuchiya-kun, planting kisses all over him. They share a passionate kiss in the middle of the busy corridor. I blush and quickly avert my gaze. That type of un-Japanese display always makes me embarrassed.

"Ahahaha that's enough Asuka" Tsuchiya giggles as he puts his girlfriend gently down on her feet.

"Hey Chappi. Want to shoot hoops later?" He asks.

"Cool I'm in." I grin. I need a good distraction. For me, basketball always clears the mind of all the unnecessary thoughts.

.

We occupy the library well into the afternoon and try to get some studying done. Tsuchiya wants to be an Olympic swimmer and he is actually the champion of this province but he never brags about it. However, he has no patience for studying and so he is entertaining himself by making origami grasshoppers to flick at Shiozaki and I. I have to fight to keep my concentration because every time I look up, Tsuchiya is pulling a face and we end up sniggering at each other. He is such a joker and he kind of reminds me of Nakao-chi in some ways because he has that same carefree attitude. Also he is someone who I can chill out and play basketball with. I'm grateful for that. Kunisaki-kun and Misuzu-chan arrive later with some snacks. Kunisaki and Misuzu are good people too but together they make an explosive couple. Right now they're having another argument and are not speaking directly to each other.

"Chappi, tell Eriko that she can't use me for my body only. Tell her I have feelings." fumes Kunisaki.

"Why don't you tell Misuzu yourse…"

"Chappi, tell Kaito that as long I've got a finger I don't need his body at all." snaps Misuzu.

"I'm absolutely not saying that…" I protest in shock. What an unladylike thing to say. Even Koizumi wouldn't…oh that's right. Not suppose to be thinking about her...

Shiozaki beams at me and interjects into the uncomfortable conversation "Hey Chappi what are your plans for the weekend?"

"Hm? I'm going to Osaka, I guess" I say. I take a break from writing and I rub my tired eyes.

"Eh? Are you going to see your girlfriend?" Misuzu coos and she gives me a nosey look.

"Er, yeah I'll see her and some other people…" I mumble. I can feel my cheeks getting red.

"Chappi's girlfriend is really pretty, ne!" exclaims Shiozaki. I sink in my chair and try to ignore her.

"Yeah she was that tall girl we meet at the beach." Tsuchiya smiles and his eyes crinkle as he tries to remember back to that time at the beach.

"Huh? W-why are you guys mentioning her all of a sudden?" I shout and I end up standing on my feet. Other students in the library look up at me with curiosity or annoyance. A nervous look spreads over my face and I sit back down angrily.

"Because it makes you blush when we mention your girlfriend and we think it's cute" Shiozaki smiles. The others nod animatedly in agreement.

"Yeah Chappi is a cool guy but when we mention his girlfriend he get's all flustered and defensive" Kunisaki adds with a grin.

"Yep, I agree. You become more alive whenever we mention her." says Tsuchiya.

"Tha-that's not it. I-I…"

Is that so? I become alive when people mention her to me? Then maybe it's true. I'm just no good without her.

.

It's Wednesday night and business is slow at work. I'm grateful that Shiori-san hasn't brought up that kiss ever since the incident occurred. But now she seems to be meaner then ever before. Shiori-san and her friend are talking animatedly about some Pop idol groups at the candy bar. I'm resentfully sweeping up popcorn from yet another Shiori hissy fit. This particular altercation involved a middle aged man who demanded to speak to the manager and a jumbo bucket of popcorn. This time she actually threw a hot bucketful at the man while his back was turned. Yes, she is actually attacking people now. It is only a matter of time before somebody files a lawsuit against the cinema.

"Otani" Manager Hayashi calls.

"Er, yeah?" I answer wearily. Manager Hayashi has been kind of nice to me lately. I think that this is because two more workers quit recently and he is running out of useful workers.

"That's enough sweeping you can take a break as long as you keep an eye on the candy bar," he says in a forced-polite voice.

"Otani is not doing a good job at sweeping so he shouldn't get a break," whines Shiori.

"WHAT? LIES! Where the heck do you get off you brat?" I say in a sharp whisper. But before she gets a chance to retaliate Manager Hayashi cuts in-

"Otani-san is our best worker so stop causing trouble. You on the other hand refuse to lift one of your princess fingers"

"At least I don't sit around my office all day playing computer games." Shiori snaps.

I cross my arms and scowl at Shiori "That's no way to behave Shi-"

"Shut up midget. Nobody asked you to speak" Shiori says indignantly.

She cut me down to size. I shrink back and pout.

"You are nothing but a burden to your dear mother. Your father must have spoiled you rotten, I swear!" Manager Hayashi spits.

"I don't even know my father…but whatever. I just can't believe Mother let's such a disgusting thing like you crawl on top of her at night. Now there is going to be a wedding and everyone will know she is tied down to an ape, my poor Mother. "

Manager Hayashi doesn't say anything for a long moment but he looks like some sort of pulsating, angry balloon man. He has turned all red and flustered the way somebody with a severe heart problem does. Shiori's friend and I take cover behind the candy bar counter and wait for a major blow out to occur. For such a small girl who is also just a third year high school student Shiori is definitely a ballsy loud mouth.

"MAYUMI, HOW DARE YOU! YOU ARE A RUDE LITTLE WITCH!" he finally explodes.

"Keep it down will you. Your loud voice will disturb the customers," Shiori speaks in an infuriatingly even tone.

"Right that is it. Mayumi take the broom from Otani. From now on you will be sweeping all the floors, mopping them and cleaning the bathrooms all by yourself."

Shiori lowers her head and speaks in a low hoarse whisper. "Why don't you just fire me?"

"Because it will upset your mother and she's sick so she doesn't need this extra stress." Manager Hayashi says and Shiori walks over to me and snatches the broom from my grasp. We watch as she starts to sweep the floor moodily like a scolded child.

"Otani, Yazawa quit yesterday so you'll need to take one of his shifts for this week" Manager Hayashi says.

"Ok sure, what day?"

"Saturday after 4pm"

I bite my bottom lip indecisively. This Saturday? But I'll be in Osaka seeing Koizumi on Saturday…

"Of course you'll be getting double time and it's only for this week until we get new staff" Says Manager Hayashi looking desperate. I feel kind of sorry for him for the first time. Especially after everything Shiori said, there's only so much a man can tolerate.

"Ok I'll be here on Saturday."

Manager Hayashi looks relieved and actually smiles at me. This is the first time I have ever seen him smile. He then turns around and walks back to his office.

If I call Koizumi right now she shouldn't be too annoyed with me. If I'm honest with myself I must admit that part of the reason I had agreed to taking on the shift was because of this icy awkwardness between her and I.

I can't leave the candy bar so I wait until Shiori's friend has gone to the other side of the room to console Shiori before I dial Koizumi's number on my phone.

"Um, Hello? Koizumi?"

"Eh~? Otani? Hello! This is a surprise you don't usually call on Wednesdays?"

"Yeah I know I'm at work right now. Er listen…"

"Otani, there is something I need to talk to you about in person when you come…"

"I can't come to see you on Saturday. I have to do an unexpected shift. I'm really sorry Koizumi" I blurt out in one jumbled sentence.

There is a long pause before she finally speaks again.

"Oh, ok. I understand…" Koizumi says with a faint, melancholy voice.

"Understand what? You know I like seeing you so I'm not doing it on purpose or anything." I snap. I feel panicked for hurting her feelings.

Shiori is now speaking to me in a loud voice from across the room.

"Hey Otani. Otani, OTANI! Get off the phone. No fair why do you get to make personal calls at work!"

"Shut up will you. Manager Hayashi said I could have a break remember?"

"Otani, who is that girl?" Koizumi asks.

"Heh?...oh someone I work with." I mutter in a low voice.

"That girl…who kissed you…"

"U-um…"

Before I realise it Shiori is standing directly behind me. She grabs the phone out of my hand and practically screams down it.

"Listen you! Don't be calling when Otani is at work, ok!" Shiori barks and then she hangs up the phone.

"Why the HELL did you do that for?" I seethe and I snatch my phone out of Shiori's hand. Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap. Koizumi is probably upset with me. She will think something is going on and I just blew her off or something.

"No need to be swearing at me golden boy"

"You had no right to do that. What's your problem anyway?"

"My problem? My problem is…" She looks confused and annoyed with herself but doesn't say any more. Instead she turns around and walks over to the storage room. She busies herself with the mop and then walks silently to the bathrooms without complaint.

Everything she does baffles me.

"What's going on with her?" I ask Shiori's friend who is now standing next by my side.

"I'm not really sure myself, Mayumi-chan has a lot of…issues…but she is a really good person. Deep down" answers Shiori's friend thoughtfully who then sets off in the direction of the bathrooms too.

Yeah, deep, deep down. So deep down that you may reach the pits of hell before you get to her 'good' part.

After work I try to call Koizumi but she has switched off her phone. I was right. She is mad at me. I call her house number but her mother says that Koizumi has gone out. I sigh and get to work on my foreboding school work load.

.

9_ days later… _

.

It's Friday afternoon and I have just finished my lecture. Tsuchiya-kun and I are planning to play a game of indoor soccer. We walk out into the courtyard and we can feel the afternoon chill setting in. I'm wrapped up in my thickest coat, a scarf and my favourite gloves. Koizumi had given the gloves to me a couple of years ago.

Koizumi. I get anxious whenever I think about her now. She has been avoiding me and I haven't heard from her in over a week.

Shiozaki's voice comes from ahead of Tsuchiya and I.

"Satoru! Chappi!"

I glance up at Shiozaki and notice that she is talking and laughing with Koizumi.

What….?

The tall girl laughing and talking to Shiozaki…Koizumi….

Koizumi….

Yes that is definitely her. The freakishly tall girl….in front of Shiozaki in the courtyard

…of my University.

…in Kyoto.

Has my brain received frostbite? I must be seeing an illusion.

Koizumi turns around and a nervous smile appears on her face.

"Oh hi Otani…er, surprised?" She says meekly.

By this point my eyes are popping out of my skull. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I scream. Many people look up at us in alarm. Tsuchiya and Shiozaki start grinning at each other.

I'm initially on the defence but to be honest, I'm just shocked to see her.

"Ugh, that's not a nice thing to say when I came all this way to see you!"

* * *

Next Chapter: Rude Intermission

A.N. Just thought I'd mention that Shiori's character will devolop further over future chapters so keep an eye out for that :)


	4. Chapter 4 Rude Intermission

**~Because I love you, Stupid~ Otani's Story**

**.**

* * *

**Chapter Four–Rude Intermission**

**.**

Tsuchiya, Shiozaki, Koizumi and I go to McDonalds together.

"You skipped school today to travel all the way here, didn't you?" I accuse Koizumi with a look of disapproval.

"I told you already that I didn't have school today. Geez, I thought you'd be happier to see me." Koizumi whines. She then turns her body away from me and clucks her tongue in annoyance. I sigh and grab a hold of her wrist.

"I_ am_ glad to see you. I have really missed you. I just…"

It is at this moment that I become aware of Tsuchiya and Shiozaki's large, half-moon shaped grins. Damn those two! I get to my feet and try to scold them for being insufferable but only agitated, incoherent words come out of my mouth.

"It's happening again." beams Shiozaki.

"Uhuh uhuh…he's getting all flustered. So adorable, ne!" nods Tsuchiya enthusiastically. I'm not impressed.

"Koizumi come outside and talk to me please" I say and I'm still glaring at the smiling couple.

.

We stand outside in a deserted alleyway next to the diner. The air is cold enough so that Koizumi's breath is visible like a wisp of steam. The colour has drained out of her complexion except for her cheeks and the tip of her nose. These facial features are rosey as a result of the chill. She looks like a real life China doll in a fur trimmed trench coat…kind of pretty.

I jog on the spot and rub my hands together in an effort to keep warm until she finally speaks, "You don't want me to be here is that it?"

"No I'm glad to see you. It's just unexpected, that's all. I've been trying to call you since last week but you've been ignoring me..." I complain.

"There is something I've needed to time to think about. Nobu-chan has given me long distance counselling over it and…uh, I just want to say to you that nothing will be weird between us anymore."

I'm utterly confused as to how Koizumi came to this conclusion.

"Huh? I don't get what you're saying aren't you angry with me because of that thing that happened over the phone?"

"Oh that? No. Not exactly…but that girl was kind of rude," scowls Koizumi.

"Well, I still don't get what you are talking about. Why did you decide to come all the way here?"

Without warning Koizumi throws her arms around me. I can feel the warmth of her body through the fabric of her clothing and I don't know what to say. I just hold her. It's been months since we last hugged and I was beginning to miss her scent of fresh cotton.

"I forgot how nice it is to hug Otani," Koizumi laughs.

"I've forgotten too," I murmur. I shove aside my confusion and nuzzle into her collarbone. Her long caramel hair permeates a sweet, clean scent and it brushes against my face. Then suddenly her frozen lips are pressed against my forehead and I tremble a little bit.

Koizumi whispers in an almost inaudible voice, "I really love you. I haven't said that in a while…" I stay silent because I can't find any words good enough to express the way I feel about her.

I tilt my head upwards and gently pull her face closer to mine until our lips meet. Her lips are so soft that I instinctively lean into the kiss. I begin to feel her trembling too and this causes warm little explosions to occur all over my body again.

"Tee hee hee hee"

I open my eyes and whip around quickly to see Tsuchiya and Shiozaki standing at the entrance of the alley way. Their hands are in their pockets and they are still wearing those annoying half moon grins.

"So this is what Chappi is up to. Making kissy time with his tall beauty," Shiozaki giggles.

"Yep, it seems so. I've never even seen a short boy kiss a tall girl before. So this is how it's done!" crows Tsuchiya.

"Uhuh! Uhuh!," Shiozaki chimes in .

"Argh! Get! Get away!" I roar and I chase them to the end of the alleyway. They are too far ahead of me laughing hysterically and I can't catch them.

"See you later Otani!" calls Tsuchiya from a distance.

"Nice seeing you again Otani's girlfriend." Shiozaki squeaks.

"Ah, you too!" waves Koizumi and then the couple run off hand in hand. I can hear Koizumi sniggering from behind me.

I cross my arms moodily and stamp my foot on the ground but my foot lands directly into a puddle. Icy cold water shoots up and splashes in my face, drenching me. This causes Koizumi to double over in laughter.

"What's so funny?" I fume, trying to look cool. My lips twitches but I don't dare to laugh even though I feel kind of stupid.

"I'm just thinking if you will always go around chasing away every person who ever catches us kissing…" she teases.

"Don't _think _too hard or your brain might break." I snap.

It's not that being caught kissing Koizumi in public bothers me. It is the unnecessary reaction of the people who catch us that is really annoying. I dunno….maybe I'm being irrational.

.

I'm intensely curious to find out what had changed so suddenly with her. She tells me that she has figured out something but she doesn't say what _it_ is.

"So I was thinking we could go to this arcade." I say and I point to the flashy building gleaming under the neon street lights. The arcade is teaming with gamers and loitering, fashionable teenagers.

Koizumi and I had spent the afternoon walking through the cold city streets and now it's late. I figure that she would want to spend the night doing something fun indoors and out of the cold so I decide to bring Koizumi to the arcade adjacent to my part time job. Supposedly this arcade is one of the best gaming facilities in the district. I have never been inside but I know how much Koizumi likes games so I figure we should try it out.

However, Koizumi is not paying attention to the arcade at all. Instead, she is examining the sign in front of the cinema I work for.

"Heh? Hoshizora Cinema…." She reads aloud the words on the giant neon sign.

"That is where Otani works! Can we go and see a movie instead?" She exclaims happily

"Er, I really don't want to…" I protest.

The last thing I want is to be stuck at my part time job on my day off!

"You told me before that the Cinema is competing for business with this gaming arcade. So I want to support your work," Koizumi pouts.

She lowers her face to my level and conjures a dazzling grin, "Or…or you just don't want me to meet your girl on the side,"

"Ugh! As if! How can you even say something like that?" I yell, flinging my arm up in exasperation. I walk away from her grumpily.

"Is Otani hiding something? She asks. I can hear her footsteps following me as I walk quickly towards the direction of the buildings.

"Look, if you want to go then fine, we will go and see a movie" I groan.

"Okeydokey~," Koizumi cheers. Now she is skipping beside me, effortlessly keeping up with my pace thanks to her long legs. She is grinning broadly and somehow I feel tricked into doing what she wants.

.

We enter the deserted cinema and I look disappointed to spot Shiori standing at the ticket box. Shiori is engrossed in her magazine. She does not look up at Koizumi and me as we approach.

"Welcome." She says in a bored voice. I clear my throat and Shiori looks up in annoyance. Her eyes lock onto me.

"Huh? What are YOU doing here?" Shiori snarls. She stares from Koizumi to myself and then back again to Koizumi. The magazine drops out of her hands and it clatters onto the floor.

"What does it look like? We're going to see a movie," I frown.

"..with that girl?" Shiori asks in an accusing tone.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Koizumi, Risa." Koizumi answers politely.

Shiori shoots Koizumi a suspicious look, "Oh I see~ so, how much do you charge?"

"Heh?" chokes Koizumi.

"Payment. How much does he pay you to go on a date with him?"

"Hey! Wait a minute that's not-" I scoff.

"No, I'm Otani's girlfriend." Koizumi responds and I recognise a slight hint of annoyance in her tone.

Shiori yawns dramatically before she speaks again, "I'd laugh but I'm so worn out,"

Koizumi's ears prick up when she hears some peculiar sounds coming from one of theatres. She suddenly becomes unresponsive and rigid. Shiori and I stare at her in confusion.

"What is wrong with her," Shiori muses.

Loud, hot and heavy noises echo through the empty entrance parlour. I mentally kick myself for forgetting about the paper thin walls and I look over at Koizumi apprehensively.

"What kind of movies do they play at this cinema?" gulps Koizumi.

I scratch my head nervously and say "Ah, well it is late night. So all sorts of films like foreign and independent stuff…"

Shiori leans closer to Koizumi, "Nudie movies," she whispers menacingly.

Koizumi turns and stares at me with a troubled expression.

"Only late at night they are shown. But yeah, basically the manager decided to show those types of films in order to lure in more crowds at night." I croak and I start laughing uneasily.

Koizumi smirks in a way I don't appreciate. She proceeds to mock me, "Does Otani watch these movies?" She narrows her eyes at me and I'm shocked.

"You are being disgusting-" I say and I take step back from her. My face is growing hot with embarrassment.

Shiori displays a gleeful expression and exclaims, "Yes! Once a week Otani goes to the last session of the newest hardcore gay porn film and asks not to be disturbed,"

"That's sick. You are a sick person, Shiori!" I shriek. Koizumi cringes but doesn't say anything.

I quickly buy two tickets for a new action/comedy flick and I whisk Koizumi away.

"Don't pay any attention to her. All those things she said were lies," I say.

"I know that. It's just those words…they are so icky to me and yet that girl can say them so freely," she confesses.

"Huh?"

"S-sex words" she mumbles in a low voice as if we are about to be overheard.

"Trust me it makes me happy that you're not _as crude _as that girl. I like that about you," I say and I smile to myself.

.

We enter the dark theatre and the movie hasn't begun yet. I can only make out the out the silhouettes of men, sitting scattered across the theatre. This always happens when manly films are shown. You barely get a woman watching them. I don't know if Koizumi will like the movie I chose but I had to pick something with no romantic love scenes it, for both of our sakes. I can't picture anything more awkward than sitting through a love scene with Koizumi next to me in the dark.

"What's her problem anyway?...that girl, I mean." Koizumi whispers.

"I don't know but she's been acting weird ever since…"

I realise what I'm about to say and I trail off. However, Koizumi doesn't let me get away with the omission.

"Ever since~?" she repeats.

"D-don't say it like that. I didn't do anything wrong! I was taken advantage of" I lash out in quiet annoyance.

"Really Otani, I'm not worried. Not after you told me once that you'll stick by me no matter what …" she murmurs and before I get a chance to deny ever uttering such a phrase she kisses me briefly in the darkness. I'm still shocked by her willingness to be close to me again and I remain dazed for several minutes. It definitely wasn't a good idea to come to the cinema. Just having her presence next to me in the darkness makes it almost unbearable to remain in control of myself.

"Hm? Didn't that girl say the title of this movie was called something else?" Koizumi ponders aloud.

Just as I thought. She is completely unaware of what I'm agonizing over.

"Argh! Crap subtitles. It's a foreign film. That title doesn't make sense." she sighs.

In order to squash any meddling desires I try to concentrate on the opening credits. I await some sort of epic gun battle or car chase scene to occupy myself with.

The film starts out with a rather drab setting. A school teacher is scolding a student. He tells his student that she will get suspended because she was caught cheating on her test.

"One day, Otani is going to be a sensei just like that man," Koizumi gushes.

The girl onscreen pouts and then says "Well what can I do to get out of suspension?"

"You know what you can do" says the teacher with a smirk. He unzips his pants and flops out his giant manhood.

What the…?

**#&(&#$# WHAT HELL IS THIS?**

Koizumi and I are too shocked to move. We just stare helplessly up at the screen.

The school girl doesn't hesitate and gratefully shoves the teacher's giant donkey sized thing into her mouth. She moves her lips up and down over the stiffy pretending that she is really enjoying herself. Then the terrible music and over dramatic moaning begins.

"Otani…w-what is going on?" cries Koizumi.

Her fingers are gripping to the seat in utter terror. I can't help her because I'm staring bug eyed at the screen. I don't know what to think. My brain is being perverted with dirty images. The teacher is now pumping the girl hard and fast on a desk from behind. The girl is topless and her massive silicon boobs are jiggling hypnotically. She is also making disturbing moaning noises that remind me of a yappy Chihuahua. I break out of the shock-induced trance and I force Koizumi to get up on her feet. She looks pale. We make a mad dash for the exit and we end up tumbling down the stairs in dark theatre, making a loud racket. The men in the audience hiss and boo us as we push our way past them without consideration. We don't stop running stop until we break out into the cold night.

.

"I feel dirty….so dirty now." I shudder. Koizumi is completely out of it. She is speaking to thin air.

"Mummy, why did the man put that thing in there?" She inquires and I have no choice but to shake some sense into her.

"Snap out of it! It's over now. Just try to block the images out of your mind, ok?" I plead.

She comes back to reality abruptly and shoves me away. "Don't touch me" is briefly written all over her face again and I feel kind of hurt. Koizumi starts to look flustered.

"Why do you keep pushing me away like that?" I groan in frustration.

"Because...after all the preparation I did, I'm scared and so hopeless. I don't know if I've got it in me to continue with the plan,"

"Koizumi. What plan? What are you talking about?"

I don't have any clue of what she is talking about. She really confuses me.

"That was the first time I have even seen a- a…a man's thingy! And it was so 'in-your-face' on the big screen!" sobs Koizumi who is now withdrawing into herself.

It is easy to forget just how innocent and fragile Koizumi is because of her tall stature. Even though, I'm a man I understand how she feels. I don't enjoy those types of pornographic film's either. They are far too confronting.

I attempt one last time to reassure her, "Look Koizumi, it's going to be alright. I won't try anything on you so just chill out ok?"

"That's not what I want, you don't get it all. I-I have already made my mind up!" She yells with an air of finality.

I'm at my wits end and I run my fingers through my hair in annoyance before I speak again.

"You are driving me crazy. Why don't you tell me what's going on?" I beg.

Koizumi conjures up a determined face and speaks with assertion, "Fine, I will say it. You…uh you and I um….I want you…"

I pause for a moment and I try to comprehend what she had just said. I just don't get her meaning.

"You… you want me….to do what exactly?" I conclude. For some reason I manage to push Koizumi over the edge and she freaks out. She grabs a hold of my ears and pulls at them.

" Ack…it's not what I want you to _do_. You are so dense!" she shrieks.

I push her away and rub my sore ears. My patience is wearing thin and I become aware of just how cold it is outside. I sigh. It's getting late so I better…wait a minute.

"Koizumi, where are you sleeping tonight?" I inquire. Instantly her demeanour changes and she avoids my gaze.

"Er, I'm hoping that you will let me stay the night in your apartment." She mutters in a nervous voice. I freeze and give her a shocked look. This is completely unexpected to me even though I should've realised earlier.

"Well where else will you stay otherwise? I can't have you sleeping on the streets. I'd feel bad." I tease. I'm trying to hide my thoughts. My stomach is clenching up and my heart is beating like a humming bird.

"Gah, you are making it difficult for me!" she exclaims in frustration. Koizumi grits her teeth and pulls a face of utter determination.

"It's ok…my roommate has a spare futon. I can sleep on it and you can have my bed. He's gone away for the weekend but I'm sure he wont mind if I borrow it." I suggest.

She doesn't give away her poker face and merely nods.

"C'mon it's getting late. I'll take you back to my apartment now."

* * *

Chapter Five: Reveal More Than Your Heart –the next chapter is a one to look forward to. I'll upload it tomorrow ^^

_A.N: First of all, l I do apologise for that crude porno scene. I just thought it would be hilarious if Otani and Koizumi were traumatised by a really bad porno. Also, I use words like stíiffy and 'thing' because I don't imagine Otani ever saying words like 'cock" or anything simliar._

_Another I thing I feel like I need to explain: Sometimes in the dialogue there are parts when one character is addressing another I like to use that person's name instead of just saying "you".__Eg, if Koizumi were to say "I want to see Otani in that," she is speaking directly to Otani. I just don't use 'you'. Most of you are already aware that this is grammatically correct in Japanese. It's become a force of habit after reading the manga and anime for me to write like this. I just thought I'd mention it in case somebody was wondering why I keep writing like this._

In the beginning volumes of the manga Koizumi and Otani used to go to McDonalds together. I thought I'd bring that back again XD


	5. Chapter 5 Reveal More Than Your Heart

**~Because I Love You, Stupid!~ Otani's Story**

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_AN: I completely changed this chapter and that is why in took longer than expected to upload. Anyway, please enjoy ^^_

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**Chapter Five – Reveal More Than Your Heart**

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It's a quarter past nine when we arrive at my apartment. As we stand in the corridor, Koizumi is silently analyzing the building I live in. I rummage around for my keys to open the front door and finally I manage to get the right key in the keyhole. Unfortunately, I accidently open the door wide enough for the white demon to make a mad dash for freedom. My roommate's cat shoot's through my legs and out into the corridor.

"No Michio!" I shout.

I race down the corridor after the mischievous cat. Luckily, I manage to pounce on the white ball of fluff before he gets too far. The animal makes terrible guttural noises which warn me that he is not pleased with being caught. Usually, I'm pretty good with animals but this cat really hates me. I think he has the desire to scratch up my face until it resembles mince meat. This is why I make sure that my bedroom door is closed before I go to sleep at night.

Koizumi eyes the cat as we walk into the apartment. I close the door behind us carefully with one hand. I don't want Michio to view any sudden movements I make as threatening to him otherwise he might attack.

"Huh, do you have a cat?" Koizumi asks stupidly.

"No, I would have told you already if I did. He belongs to my roommate." I say holding the writhing animal out at arms length.

"Can I hold him?"

"Er, Koizumi, I don't think that is a good idea…"

Before I can stop her, Koizumi takes the demon fluff ball out of my hands. The cat is agitated because he lets out a low cautioning growl. However, Koizumi is completely ignorant off the obvious warning sign and she wears a gooey grin.

"Hello puddy cat," she coos.

Michio is not pleased and before we even blink he unleashes an furious assault on Koizumi. I manage to pull him off and I put him on the floor. Michio is still agitated as he skulks off into my roommate's room. He probably plans to desecrate more of my roommate's property.

"I don't think he likes people," Koizumi grimaces.

"Tsk, that's what I tried to tell you…" I sigh.

.

Koizumi is in my room. We are kneeling at my study table on the floor of my bedroom. I'm trying to explain to her the importance of general safety protocols. I have never mentioned it to Koizumi but I constantly worry about her safety. She is so gullible and I fear that some bad guy will try to take advantage of her. I can tell that she is not listening to my safety rant because her eyes are unfocused. I decide to test her.

"If a mugger comes at you from behind what are going to do?"

She turns around to me and grins.

"I like you," says Koizumi randomly.

"What?"

"What?" she echoes.

"Wait a minute… What has _that_ got to do with what I'm saying right now?" I splutter.

"Sorry…I wasn't listening to what you were saying at all. I was just thinking of something else," Koizumi says in a distant voice.

Ugh, I thought as much…

"I'm just trying to look out for you, so you can at least show a little gratitude," I scoff and I give her an irritated look.

_I don't want anybody to ever hurt you._ Is what I really want to say to her but I decide that it is too unnecessary to say out loud.

.

Whiile Koizumi is now studying the objects in my room I catch myself admiring her beautiful facial features for longer than I should allow myself. Even though, I still get that twang of guilt. You know what I mean…that a girl as tall Koizumi ended up with a short guy like me, even so I feel a surge of satisfaction that I get to be with someone so beautiful. Of course, it is unnecessary to tell Koizumi about this. She would only get a big head. My eyes grow heavy as a strange emotion washes over me.

What is this feeling? Is it desire?

I realise that I had stopped breathing for around thirty seconds. I choke on the air that finally re-enters my lungs. This catches Koizumi's attention and now she is looking at me wordlessly. I can only stare back at her pathetically and a flush of red settles on my cheeks. I quickly pull up my defence shield.

"Oi! What's with that stupid look on your face?" I bark.

She barely flinches but her cheeks burn crimson. She looks guilty over something…

"Koizumi, what are you thinking about?"

"Um, u-um well…I was just wondering…what…" she stutters.

"What?" I ask impatiently. She seems to swell with even more embarrassment. She then proceeds to blurt out her thought like a brain-fart,

Koizumi shouts at me without warning and she clutches to her head. "What's wrong with me? I was just imagining what Otani's _thing_ looks like!"

Koizumi looks as if she desperately wants to take her words out of my ears and shove them back inside her mouth. I'm just completely dumbfounded.

"I said that out loud didn't I?" whimpers Koizumi in disbelief.

"W-why are thinking about something like that?" I stutter and I lean away from her out of fear.

"Because tonight is the first time I've seen a man's…a man's penis. I just realised that Otani has a…penis and that is what it looks like."

"Argh! Stop talking about m-my thing. I don't want to discuss this with you!"

"Sorry…but I can't stop thinking about it now. The image has been burned into my brain" Koizumi looks up and stares at nothing. She is probably imagining a man's _thing_ in her mind.

Just what I thought. She is completely traumatised by that movie!

"Don't think too hard about that movie anymore, ok! It won't do your brain any good, ok! Just try to be normal, OK!" I urge her.

Concern is plastered all over my face but Koizumi just gets cross with me again.

"Oh for the love of…WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS MORE DIFFICULT THAT IT HAS TO BE?" she shouts. Koizumi slams her fists on the table angrily.

"You have a twisted personality. One minute you are fine and the next minute you are screaming at me," I retaliate defensively.

"Ugh…forget it." Koizumi says. She lets out a long sigh like a deflating balloon.

"I'm thirsty…" she finally mutters.

Revelling in a chance to be away from Koizumi's awkwardness, I quickly make an excuse to leave the room.

"Oh you like melon soda, right? I've got some in the kitchen"

"Thanks" Koizumi mumbles.

.

I fumble around in the refrigerator and grab two cans of soda.

Koizumi is sleeping in my room tonight. I gulp down my frustration. This is bad. Not the "sleeping" part, I mean the "I want to do a whole lot of other things with her that does not involve sleeping" part. Now she keeps talking about crude things. Her mind has been perverted and I don't even know the state of my own sanity anymore.

"No. Stop this." I groan and I slap my palm down on the kitchen counter in frustration.

We are just sleeping in the same room. There is nothing else to it. We have slept n the same bed before.

I have to gain self control again before I go back in there. If I'm honest with myself, I'd have to say that the sexual desires I'm feeling are nothing but hormones. I'm a guy after all. But do I actually want to reveal that intimate side of myself to Koizumi?

My stomach tightens and I start to feel nauseous.

Sexual fantasies are fine but what about reality? Do I really want to show her my thing or see her completely naked? Do I really want to let go of my self control and open up to Koizumi?

No. I don't think so…. Maybe? I don't know….No.

.

I loiter outside my bedroom and the cold soda cans are numbing my hands. I can't hear Koizumi in my room. I suspect that she is sitting quietly waiting for me to return. I let common sense win out over my hormones and I'm glad. Koizumi too, is not ready. I think back to her reaction after that rude flick. She is so innocent that she was traumatized by it. The more I think in this way, the more control I regain over myself. I take a deep breath and turn the knob of the door.

Looking down at the cans I start to say, "Ok, my roommate drank the last can of Melon soda and so all I have are Orange of Cherry. Take your p-"

Before I can even finish the sentence Koizumi cuts in.

"Otani you asked me about what I have finally realised but I couldn't say it out loud earlier"

"Huh?"

I look up at her in confusion

Koizumi is standing by my bed with that same look of determination. It takes me a second to register what I am seeing. She is standing in front of me completely naked.

Thud! I hear the fizzy liquid bubbling violently inside of the soda cans after they fall on the floor. I must have lost my grip on them. My hands are numb so I couldn't tell.

Then Koizumi speaks with urgency, "I realised that I have been acting strange because I have been denying my desire to be with you. What I mean is….GAH! I'M READY AND I WANT YOU TO SLEEP WITH ME ATSUSHI!" she ended up shouting that last part.

Wh…wha…

A crimson river spurts out of me unexpectedly like a water fountain. The colour red splatters all over the floor and my clothing. Koizumi gasps in shock.

"Otani!"

I hear her voice but it sounds faded.

Looking down at myself, the sight of my own blood makes me dizzy. I take an unsteady step backwards and trod on a can of soda lying under my foot. It bursts open. The room is turning. Or am I falling?

CRACK!

A blunt object hits the side of my head.

And then there is nothing but blackness.

.

.

.

I feel groggy. My head throbs painfully as I begin to resurface out of the blackness. I can't think properly but I become aware that I'm lying down and I'm moving quickly. When I open my eyes just a fraction I can see people above me that I don't know. There is a flashing bright light that disappears and reappears every few seconds and shuffling footsteps on all sides of me. I can hear Koizumi's panic stricken sobs too.

"How long has he been unconscious for?" says a man's voice.

Then another man speaks with calm tone, "About fifteen minutes after we had arrived. So about twenty five minutes tops."

"I think he is seriously concussed." concludes the second man.

"What happened? Where did all this blood come from?"

"N-nosebleed."

This time it is Koizumi's who is speaking with an anxious tone.

I can't fight the lolling darkness and drift out of consciousness again.

.

"Otani, I'm so sorry,"

I can feel Koizumi burying her face next to my shoulder. My eyes are still shut but I can make out her expression without even having to look at her.

"So you should be" I groan.

I'm not entirely sure how long I've been unconscious, maybe it has been hours or maybe minutes. I open my eyes and see Koizumi sitting next to me. I realise that she is wearing nothing but her overcoat and her shoes. My head throbs painfully again and I flinch.

"Are you ok? You hit your head pretty hard" she mumbles gingerly.

She looks grief-stricken. I frown at her and wonder how I must look to her in a shirt covered with blood.

"Yeah I'm fine. Where are we?"

"Emergency Room"

I glance around and notice that the bed I'm in is surrounded by a heavy lavender colored curtain. I can hear faint sounds coming from behind it.

"I'm really, really, really sorry Otani. I promise I'll never surprise you like that again. I was so scared. You fell and hit the table edge pretty hard and then you didn't wake up. There was all this…blood and then and then…"

At that moment the image of Koizumi's naked body floods back into my mind like a raging current. Koizumi's breasts….her pale bare stomach…. The image is like a rude shock to the system and I begin to feel dizzy again.

…OH NO!

As hard as I try I can't get that one image out of my head. I can't stop picturing Koizumi in that way! I clench my fist in frustration.

"Koizumi why did you do that? Why did you take all of your clothes off? Tsk, now I can't think of anything else…"

She looks up at me in alarm and then suddenly launches into a vicious assault. Koizumi rips out the pillow from under my head and practically tries to smother me with it.

"Aaaargh! Stop thinking about that! Stop thinking about it right now" screeches Koizumi.

Eventually she stops and I gasp for air. My head is aching even more and now I'm in a foul mood.

"You're bad for my health and you almost killed me twice!"

I cower away from my girlfriend and mutter, "I'm afraid of that twisted personality of yours. I don't want you sleeping in my room now because I'm afraid you might get up in middle of the night and try to kill me again,"

Koizumi completely ignores my words. She sits back in her chair and sighs.

"I took my clothes off because I suddenly felt brave enough and I wasn't thinking straight. I had this idea that you would just get caught up in the moment with me."

W-wait what is she saying? I don't believe it. My face contorts with anguish. I try to regain some sort of composure before I dare speak again.

"Koizumi I told you already that you shouldn't force yourself t-"

Without warning Koizumi looks so angry that she might just explode.

"That's the thing! I have tried to hint at you but you are as dense as ever. I even took all of my clothes off for you-"

"I never asked you to do that-" I interject.

"Just shut up!" She shouts. There is clear frustration in her expression. Now she is standing on her feet, towering over me

"I even said it clearly. What more do you need me to say? I want you. I want to have sex with you. I know you want to do it too. Don't you remember? …that night when your thing got so hard….stop playing dumb! It's so embarrassing for me! It's hard enough as it is for me to talk about this."

I'm frozen.

A nurse pokes her head through the lavender curtain.

"Yes, yes we know, we know but just keep the noise down please. There are other patients here and nobody is interested in your love-life issues." pleads the nurse.

"Well I'm kind of interested; it's kind of like a soap opera."

I look beyond the nurse and I see the curious faces gawking at us. There are three hospitalized middle aged women and a pregnant lady. The pregnant lady's eyes widen with surprise when she gets a look at me

"…and look the boy is actually much smaller than the girl"

"Wuah you are right. This is getting more interesting by the second."

Koizumi and I look at each other and we are mortified.

Crap.

She pulls me out of the bed. We flee the hospital before the unassuming nurse has a chance to stop us from leaving.

.

It is almost half past twelve and I'm lying on a futon in the middle of my room. Koizumi is in my bed. We had caught a taxi back to my apartment building and have not spoken much to each other since the hospital. I really needed the time to think, anyhow. But all I can think about is how Koizumi had yelled that she wants to sleep with me in front of a room full of strangers. I'm completely awake but I barely notice the odd sensation of warmth at my feet. I'm too lost in thoughts about Koizumi. I can't hear the telltale signs of a sleeping person so I guess that she is awake.

"Koizumi, are you sleeping?" I murmur.

"No, I'm watching over you," she answers in a normal voice. She lets out a yawn.

Then Koizumi adds with a nonchalant tone, "You were severely concussed and so I'm going to watch over you tonight. I'm not going to sleep so that I can make sure that you will be ok"

I'm touched by her unnecessary thoughtfulness and suddenly I get the urge to kiss her.

"That's really nice but you should get some sleep, I'll be alright" I complain.

"Ugh, I'm fine. I can stay up one night. But I can't let Otani drift off into a coma and die." huffs Koizumi. She sounds annoyed but I can still hear the affection in her tone.

I don't have it in me to deliver a scathing comeback this time. Instead I feel an intense feeling nudging from somewhere under my ribs. At first I mistake this feeling for the desire I had felt earlier; But no. This feeling is completely different

…oh… I know what it is.

The feeling becomes almost painful. It grips at my chest and forces its way out of my mouth before I can stop myself

"…love you" I mumble half into my pillow.

There is a long silence. Maybe she didn't hear after all. That's good. I relax a little.

"What did Otani just say to me?" Koizumi asks. I don't know how it is possible but I think I can _hear_ Koizumi smirking in the darkness.

"I said go to sleep!" I snap.

I instantly regret my moment of weakness. Then before I realise it Koizumi moves off the bed. She is suddenly beside me.

"No, don't come down here. My head aches. Stay on the bed," I plead. However, she ignores me and decides to climb onto the futon with me.

"Ah…don't touch me there. This futon isn't big enough for the both of us." I complain but it is no use.

I can feel my metaphorical brick wall crumbling around me. I don't have anymore excuses to hide behind. There is simply no excuse. She wants me and I want to be with her. All my defences against her are useless and she knows this.

Koizumi lies across my chest and stays motionless. She is probably lost in thought. Her body is bigger than mine and so her gangly arms and legs pin me down but I don't mind. Even though I would give anything to be taller than Koizumi, I know there is nothing I can do about that issue. Therefore, I can't hide behind that front either. She is wearing one of my baggy t-shirts because she decided to take a bath before we went to bed. I had let her borrow the shirt. Her hair is still slightly damp and Koizumi smells so good. I stroke her wet hair as she snuggles into me.

I had asked myself earlier: _Do I really want to show her my thing or see her completely naked? Do I really want to let go of my self control and open up to Koizumi?_

Well, now that I've seen her naked I think…

…it was kind nice. So the other things might be nice too.

I bite my bottom lip. My body is getting hotter and blood is already rushing around to the important place.

"Fine. You win. Let's just do whatever you want to do," I moan in a low defeated voice.

"Otani…"

Koizumi raises her head. But I can't see her face in the pitch black darkness. She sounds shocked but starts to kiss me softly. I emulate her growing eagerness. Her face is burning up with embarrassment but I can tell that she is excited because her body is shaking.

My fingers find their way up her quivering thighs. But when they get to her lower stomach she suddenly clamps her hands over mine and pushes them under the fabric of her underwear. I can't see anything but I can feel everything. I'm amazed at how wet it is down there. Koizumi pulls out of our kiss and her lips hover just above mine. She lets out a soft pleasure filled moan. This is the first time she has ever reacted like this with me. My mind goes completely numb. It feels like somebody decided to mix cement in my skull. Whatever it is that she doing with my fingers, she seems to really like it. Now my _thing_ is so hard it feels sore but don't stop touching her. I just want to make her feel good and that is all I can think of. I'm taken aback at how affected she is and I wish that it wasn't so dark. I badly want to see her expression. A strong wave of ecstasy washes over me and I can tell Koizumi is studying my reaction very carefully. A naughty thought begins to invade my mind. I want to turn her on so badly….

I wrap my arms around her and I press my tongue against the bare skin of her stomach.

"Atsushi…ah, no way!" Koizumi moans in surprise and then she holds my face to her body with urgency.

The way she says my name…the way she moans…

It's so sexy I can't even describe how much.

Now she is pushing my face first down past her hip bones. All I can think is, is this really happening?

I can no longer see her as the annoying 15 year girl I met on that first day off High School nor will she be just another friend. Never again will we be just a comedy duo. To me, Risa is everything.

I taste her wetness on my tongue and my thing feels so hard that I need to stroke it. She has a tight grasp on my head but I loosen her fingers and pull away. I gently push her off my lap and I fumble clumsily with the buttons on my pyjama bottoms.

Koizumi goes to lay back but she lets out a blood curdling scream. Suddenly she shoots upright. Her forehead smacks into mine with bone crunching force. Then my head completely misses the futon and again smacks onto the floor. I clutch at my sore head because I had landed on the tender spot. Then there is a horrible screeching noise that sounds more animalistic then human. The warm spot at my feet suddenly shifts. Koizumi jumps up abruptly and runs over to turn on the light.

Michio, the fluffy white demon flees my room. I'm alarmed to realise that the warm spot at my feet was actually my roommate's cat. Koizumi had left the door open and he came in unnoticed. Just what I had always suspected, he was waiting at my feet for me to fall asleep so he could scratch up my face until it resembles mince meat!

"He scared me I thought it was a ghost," cries Koizumi.

She closes the door and I can't help notice how she is wearing my baggy shirt and nothing else. My head throbs painfully and I writhe in pain.

"Argh, my head hurts so much." I groan.

Koizumi is by my side in seconds. She holds my chin in her hand and gazes at my face.

"Are you alright?" she asks. I try to answer but feel dizzy and I am not entirely sure what the cause is. Koizumi smirks as she softly plants a kiss on my sensitive forehead.

"Try to get some rest. I'll watch over you" she says dutifully.

"K-koizumi you don't need to…," I stammer.

What we were doing felt so good but I feel like a freight train had run over my skull. All the momentum has been replaced with irritating pain. I need to rest so that I can to dull it. Even so, I can't help but blush profusely because I feel guilty

"But Koizumi…don't you want to…"

"It's ok. There are going to be more chances for us to do it," she smiles.

I notice that she is glowing. She just looks different to me now. I'm not quite sure why but she not the innocent Koizumi I'm used to. It is such a slight difference but I can tell that she seems more awakened somehow.

Koizumi cradles my head in her lap and I close my eyes. The pain hurts less now and I marvel at this fact. I start to feel sleepy. Just before I drift off to sleep I get the urge to mention something to her. Something that is constantly on my mind.

"One day I'm going to ask you to marry me," I mumble.

There is a long silence. Maybe she didn't hear after all. That's good. I fall asleep.

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_I really don't like describing love making scenes D: I have to be careful because I don't want things to sound too smutty. I want them to have a little bit of mystery._

_The nosebleed is a reference to the on-going joke in Japanese anime about the excess amount of blood rushing around the body when a guy gets excited all of a sudden and he gets a nosebleed. Otani suffered a bad case because I am trying to write in a visually descriptive way that would do justice to the manga and anime. I know nothing like that could happen in reality ^_^_

_Next Chapter:...er...don't know title yet (it's a secret)_


	6. Chapter 6A The Vowel

**~Because I love you, Stupid~ Otani's Story**

_AN: Thank you to all of the wonderful readers who inspire me to keep writing this story ^^ _

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**Chapter 6-A: The Vowel**

I'd like to say that I had awoken to the comforting heat of her body next to mine, but it was actually her rumbling snore that literally shook me awake…and I was having nice dream about a gigantic rice omelette too, dammit!

"Shut up you noisy giant," I growl with my eyes shut.

I turn away from Koizumi and wrap the pillow around my head. I won't let her snoring ruin my dream about the rice omelette so I fight to keep it prevalent in my mind.

"No! Finish him off!" Koizumi yells sadistically.

She raises one of her knees and violently jabs me in the lower back. I'm caught by surprise and my body does a sort of involuntary spasm. With a clenched jaw, I turn around to glare at Koizumi.

"Oi! You lookin' for a fight?"

The idea of kicking her in retaliation is very tempting right now but Koizumi eyes are still closed and her face is serene.

She mumbles something into her pillow that sounds like, "Yes, yes a double combo attack …good job…"

The girl is very frightening if you take into account that she is oblivious to the pain she just caused me. What if she beats me to death in her sleep? Would she even realise it? Then there's the snoring. Could I ever get used to that?

As if reading my thoughts, Koizumi turns toward me and falls silent. It seems that lying on her side silences the snoring; at least that's a positive thing. Instantly, I forget about the oversized rice omelette as well as the pain in my lower back and stare at Koizumi's face which is so peaceful. She makes a sound that is kind of like a moan or maybe a sigh. Whatever it is, it sounds really cute and I become completely aware that the feeling from last night hadn't subsided.

Spurred on by the fact that I really want to touch her and I taking advantage of her sleeping state, Slowly, I inch my way closer to her. With my forefinger, I lightly go over the contours of her face from her forehead down to her chin. Still she remains peacefully asleep so I make a bolder move and run my lips down her cheek until they make connect with her lips. I kiss her softer than a whisper, feeling mortified if she were to wake up in the middle of it. Koizumi doesn't react to me but I on the other hand grow warmer. When I glance down under the covers I'm not surprised that I'm already completely hard. As my lips press to her chin, my hand instinctively traces over the hard-on. My cheeks begin to sting with heat. The blood vessels in them feel like the are bursting under the skin.

Stupid hormones! I just I can't seem to control this feeling.

_Argh! No! This is wrong. I can't do this while she's asleep._

Quickly, I gather my wits and as gingerly as possible, I tip-toe out of the bedroom. I make sure that the bedroom door is closed behind me before I sprint down the hallway to reach the bathroom.

Through the panic, I accidently slam the bathroom door behind me. After realising my mistake I pause and listen too see if I'd awoken her but don't hear a sound. It seems that she is still asleep.

I get a shock while glancing at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. The bruise that I had acquired the night before on my forehead is now a shocking mixture of purple and blue. I look like I had been beaten up really bad. Maybe if I comb my hair over it, you won't be able to see it? I use my fingers to comb my fringe to the one side and then I stand back to look at my handy work. I frown. Meh, what is the point? Now I look like I've got something to hide.

There is still the issue of the hard-on refuses to go. Alright then, I guess I'll have to take care of it.

.

I stand under the showerhead and let the warm water flatten my hair. The water then proceeds to trickle down my back in streams and it feels exhilarating on my skin. After smoothing down my wet hair, I get out the nice soap that reminds me of Koizumi's scent from last night and lather it up in circular motions all over my body. Looking down, I notice that the warm water isn't helping at all; it only manages to make _it_ stiffer. Annoyed but resigned to what I must do, I grasp onto it with my right hand and press my left palm firmly against the cold tiled wall for support. I know that I must do it before I get out of the shower or it won't go down. In the meantime let's just hope Koizumi will remain in her trancelike sleep. I know it's kind of silly but, it would be so embarrassing if she were to hear me doing this.

The image of Koizumi standing in my bedroom naked is etched in my mind. I'd never seen a real girl naked before. I long to trace my hands over her smooth skin again, and I imagine her fingertips gliding over me. I open my eyes and softly trace my fingers down my own chest wondering if she'd be impressed by the firmness of my midriff. The thought leaves me feeling embarrassed again as droplets of water evade my fingertips and run down my thighs. I need to bite my bottom lip to fight back a pleasure filled groan.

It may sound naïve, but until last night I didn't realise how different our bodies really are. Yes, my limbs are short and hers are long but my body is defined while hers is soft just like I'd always imagine a girl would feel like.

Just thinking about the way Risa had acted in the darkness turned me on. Her kisses bled her need, her burning skin, her damp hair, the way she said my name like that was so unfair. I had dragged my fingers up her thighs and….the maddening thought rips me apart. It sends fire and ice shooting up my spine. My back hits the freezing glass shower screen. The cold glass is a shock to the system and forces a loud groan to escape from my mouth. I clamp my hand firmly over my mouth and glance frantically over at the door. She hadn't heard me, I tell myself. Calmness has been restored for the moment and I'm not being eaten alive by thoughts of her body. I catch my breath and wait for gravity to return. I'm a little bit of myself again.

.

It's really cold this morning. Hm, maybe I should find some warm food for breakfast? I should go out and get some before Koizumi wakes up, huh.

I dry my hair with my towel and then put on a hoodie and jeans before plonking myself down next to the sleeping girl. Then I find a suitable beanie and pull down over my face in a vain attempt to conceal the bruises on the side of my head

Koizumi is sprawled out on the futon facing away from me now, but still fast asleep. Now that my head has cleared, an uneasy feeling of guilt plagues me, and I frown bitterly. I was such a fool for letting her coerce me into that vulnerable position. How could I allow myself to think with classic 'guy brain' and fail to see what was important? A girl like Koizumi deserves better than having her first time on my roommate's futon or even on the bedroom floor.

If we are going to do this then it would have to be special and not like this. She obviously doesn't know what she deserves and so _I'm _going to be the one to think up something a little bit more…romantic.

_UGH._

Immediately, I cringe at the thought of what I was going to have to do to create a suitable romantic atmosphere. I unwillingly see images of myself and Koizumi dressed in fine clothes and having a candlelit dinner with soft music playing somewhere in the background. From there we'd retreat to a king size bed covered in rose petals-courtesy of a fancy hotel.

_UGH! SO GROSS! SO GROSS! SO GROSS!_

A classic romantic date may be the style of _that Maity_ but I can't imagine myself ever doing those kinds of things. I clutch at my head. The frustration of the situation is getting the better of me. But still, I need to do something relatively romantic or meaningful. I know that I'd feel awful if Koizumi's first time was a bad experience. Also after being with Koizumi I now believe that when you really care about someone you've just got to give them what they deserve even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Yes! I must do this!

While trying not to disturb Koizumi, I reach over her to find my gloves which are inconveniently lodged behind her pillow_._ I turn to look at her and face is in close proximity to hers. She is sleeping with her head in an awkward position and so I gently lift her chin. Otherwise I bet she'll be complaining about having a kink in her neck later on.

Looking down at Koizumi now. I let out a depressed sigh. Romance is really, really not my thing though because it's so unnecessary, showy-

"It would be so disgusting,"

Ok then, what exactly can I give to Koizumi to show her how much she means to me without resorting to mushy cliché stuff?

Somehow…I must think up a way to make our first time very special. In the meantime keep her from blindsiding me again like this. I'd never thought that I would say this about any girl but for Koizumi's own sake, I've got to keep her advances at bay at least for now.

* * *

**Risa's POV:**

_17 minutes earlier_

A door slams shut loudly somewhere in another room and I'm still smiling stupidly into my pillow as the images of a wonderful dream begin fade away in front of my eyes. Coherency kicks in after a few seconds and everything about the night before floods back to my mind.

_Otani_

With my eyes still closed I reach out instinctively to grab a hold of his hand. The space that he occupied is empty but still warm. I lift my head and open one bleary eye. Down the hallway, I can hear running water coming from the bathroom. I guess that he's in shower, perhaps?

I wipe away my morning eye boogers and search for the clock. The digital numbers tell me that it's 7:10 am and I groan heavily. Last night I couldn't sleep even after Otani had practically passed out on my lap.

The guilt rises in my chest. I roll onto my back and I sigh up at the ceiling. Otani had been through a lot because of me and my decision. I've been so bothersome lately.

.

The gloves that Otani had worn to school yesterday, the ones I'd bought for him were lying neatly on the dresser table. I reach up to take them in my hands and smile. He always wears them in winter even though they are old and worn out now.

Yesterday when I found Otani at the University, I saw that for the first time in ages that he seemed really happy. Otani was glowing even on that gloomy kind of day. I had to face idea that I'm holding Otani back. I mean, he always seems to be yelling at me about something. Hostile interactions are normal for us but lately when talking to him over the phone he always seems kind of stressed or distracted. I had half expected to see Otani looking accordingly yet there in the courtyard, he seemed so lively. I wouldn't be surprised if he has begun to see me as some sort of an obligation by now. After all, I had succeeded in pushing him away so vehemently for months. After seeing him at his school joking around with his friend I suddenly had an urge just go home before he spotted me in the crowd. But instead I ran into the girl I'd once met at the beach and I missed out on my opportunity to escape. Sure enough, when Otani saw me his grin faded and it was replaced with a confused look.

.

"Risa listen to me, it's expected that Otani is going want to do _that_ kind of thing because he's maturing into a man. You should realise that by pushing him away that there would be consequences" said Nobu-chan over the phone.

"Uwahhh stop it Nobu-chan! I can't even talk aloud about _that_ kind of thing," I cried into the receiver.

"Geez~ you really are kind of frigid about this huh? Look Risa, you've got to understand by now that being intimate with your boyfriend is an important way of connecting as a couple. It's not something I can explain too you; you've just got to experience it. My relationship with Darling changed after the first time. It's a healthy thing,"

_A healthy thing? Then why did the mere suggestion of doing things like that manage to make me feel so ill?_

"B-but Nobu-chan I-I'm afraid"

"Wh-afraid! Afraid of the mysterious thing in Otani's trousers? What's so scary about having se-"

"Nobu-chan please!" I pleaded for her not say something so embarrassing.

Nobu-chan sighed but spoke more gently then before.

"I get that you're afraid, but I'm trying to look out for you because I know that deep down you want to do things like that with Otani too. Risa I'm trying to save you some time agonizing over what to do"

"Nobu-chan thank you but… "I trail off.

"Ok, just think about what's happening around you, how things must look to him. Stop pushing him away like this because he'll feel like he's doing something wrong. He'll be thinking that his girlfriend doesn't want to be around him, that she doesn't even want him to touch her. I have faith in Otani, that he wouldn't intentionally do anything to hurt Risa but things just happen. He's studying in Kyoto and you won't be at the forefront of his mind as you used to be when you were in school together. All I'm saying is that those savvy Kyoto girls aren't like us Osaka girls. They know what they want and one of them might be bold enough to seduce Otani away from you."

_._

That's what Nobu-chan had said to me over the phone after I had told her about Otani being kissed by his co-worker. At first I didn't want to listen to my friend's advice but then I thought back to the night of the Forest Sprite Festival where Otani became…very aroused after making out. I guess, I was too childish to realise until that moment that Otani is ready to take things further. I also really want to do things like _that _with Otani BUT it's still an uncomfortable feeling for me to embrace. For many months after that night I avoided being alone with him. Maybe it was my squeamish and cowardly reaction that caused tension between us.

Then there was incident with that girl over the phone and the things Nobu-chan said came back to me. Of course, Otani wouldn't allow another girl to come onto him but he is constantly around other girls while he is away from me.

The thought of Otani ever doing things like_ that_ with another girl mortified me. That's when I decided that I had no choice but to carry out the plan. I came to the conclusion that we should just get 'it' over and done with. I don't want to keep pushing Otani away anymore and if doing 'it' will defuse this tension between us then we should go ahead. I guess sometimes that when you really care about someone you've just got to give them what they deserve even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

So then I decided upon it. I planned to come to Kyoto and de-flower Otani!

Sure, I admit that at first than plan became a game but turning it into a game made it easier go through with. My first attempt to get Otani to understand my intentions happened while we were wandering around the city together. I'd attempted to take a hold of his hand so that we'd walk through the icy streets hand in hand. Instead of noticing the romantic gesture Otani actually thought I was attempting to steal some bubblegum out of his pocket.

"Ugh, here! Koizumi, learn to ask first instead of trying to take it directly out of my pocket," he fumed while dropping a packet of gum into my hand.

Subtlety just does not work on this person.

Five failed attempts later and I was growing so impatient that I attacked the situation more aggressively. I resorted to standing in front of him naked. Would he really needed a bigger hint than that! I mean, COME ON. I honestly thought that it would work, but all I managed to achieve was give Otani a concussion and make myself feel like one of those depraved nudies flashers. You know, the ones who hang around parks at night.

In the end, I had literally to scream into his face before he understood entirely. It just so happened that we where in the middle of the ER, so the timing was really off.

We ended up embarrassed and silent in the darkness and in separate beds. I was ready to give up when Otani mumbled something in the darkness that sounded like "love," but I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that I wanted to be near him. At first he made a feeble attempt at pushing me away. But I wouldn't let that deter me so I continued to hug him tightly until he gave up resisting.

Not knowing exactly what to do next, we stayed embraced like that for a while, my stomach was doing flips the whole time. With my face against to Otani's chest, I felt his heart beating like crazy. Otani may have been able to appear calm on the surface but his heart was beating so fast like he'd just sprinted down to the street corner and back. When he felt a little bit more comfortable with me being there he began to run his fingers through my hair, pushing the loose stands out of my eyes gently. Then he cupped my face in his hands and lifted my chin. My eyes were practically bulging like goldfish in the dark as I strained to make out the outline of his face but it was too dark. I waited for him to say something and then he did.

"Fine. You win. Let's just do whatever you want to do," Otani had said.

From that point on, it wasn't just a game anymore. I could no longer deny that I was using the plan as an excuse to be brave enough to express what I really felt for Otani. All of those embarrassing, confusing and intoxicating feelings had control over me and were running rampant. Gah! Damn hormones were complicating everything.

I fretted like junkie looking for a fix until moment we locked lips. Otani slipped his warm tongue in my mouth and held my face close to his so I could pull away. It didn't feel like he was being sleazy but rather like he was regarding me as something precious. His other was hovering hand aimlessly over my waist and so I boldly guided it up my thigh. I was daring him to take it a step further. Somehow, I could tell that he'd wanted to do that.

Fufufufufufu

My cheeks redden from the thought of what had happened next and I clutch onto Otani's gloves in my hand. His voice sounded low and manly, actually it was kind of sexy. I realise that Nobu may be right after all. I was seeing a different side to Otani that both frightened and thrilled me. Of course we were interrupted but I don't feel the need to push ahead with the plan to de-flower Otani just yet.

.

At first I don't discern the noises coming from the shower until they start to get louder and more frequent.

_Oh. My. God. N-n-no way! I-is that…_

_OTANI! _

I crawl off the futon make my way over to the door and open it up a crack. With the dor open I can hear the noises from inside the bathroom more clearly. I'm horrified when I figure out what Otani is doing in the shower but I feel strangely perverted when I can't stop myself from eavesdropping. The more I listen, the more my face starts to heat up. After some time the moans become more intense and then they stop abruptly. How is it possible that I could feel betrayed by what Otani was doing and turned on at the same time?

Could it be that he would actually prefer to do it to himself in the shower instead of with me? WHAT THE HELL! How could Otani choose to do such vile things in the bathroom alone when…when I was determined to give _that_ to Otani.

Ueeehhh! Has it got something to do with our height difference, maybe?

Before I can further deliberate over my outrage, the bathroom door opens. I throw myself onto the futon and I make a sleeping pose. By the time Otani comes back into the room I'm breathing softly in an attempt to sound like I'm still fast asleep.

Otani is silent but I can hear faint sounds and I guess that he is changing into something. I can also hear my own heart beating loudly. Can't he hear it too?

Eventually Otani sits down beside me on the futon. Perhaps he is putting on his socks now. Why am I being so silly? Just turn around and ask him why he didn't do things like that with me instead…j-just...turn…a-around…

Otani leans over me. I notice how his body only adds the slightest pressure on mine and how his body gives of warmth. Otani retrieves the pair of gloves that are still beside my pillow. He then pauses and I actually sense that he is looking over at me. I clamp my eyes shut and try to act natural. I tell myself not to freak out, that Otani wouldn't think such bad thoughts about me and that I just being silly. Geez, what is he thinking to be looking at me for so long?

"It would be so disgusting," he mumbles before pulling away.

All the blood drains out of my face and I freeze.

.

Otani decides to go out somewhere and I'm frozen until I hear the front door close.

I sit up abruptly and I think about what he had said again.

_"It would be so disgusting"_

He thinks that dong it with me would be _disgusting _because I'm a giant?

What the hell, stupid Otani!

I picture chibi Otani scowling at me, "Koizumi I care for you but I realise now that it's not possible for us to do things like that." says the midget Otani in my mind.

"Wha- why?" I moan.

"It seems to be funny if we were to…er, you know …" he says with a grin.

The bedroom door is transformed into a tiny cat flap in my mind. Otani shakes his head and then gets on his hands and knees to crawl through the cat flap. I try to follow him but I get stuck. I'm too big to crawl though.

"But I cant get through. Otaniiiiiii don't leave!"

BAM!

The day dream ends abruptly as I slap my palms down on my knees so hard it stings

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

"Gr, stupid Otani!" I snap.

I've been through so much on my journey to become Otani's girlfriend. A-a-and Otani thought it was weird for us to date but I worked so hard to change his mind.

I'm just going to have to change his mind once more. I've still got a half day to deflower Otani!

My face contorts into a bitter grin and a bout of evil laughter ensues.

Otani doesn't even know what is in store for him.

.

* * *

_Next: Chapter 6-b_

_**This chapter isn't over yet**. I split this chapter in two parts because it's as long as Chapter 2 and I feel l like the you could do with a rest right about here…_

_What's with Risa's POV? I decided that in some chapters it would be more beneficial to share Koizumi's POV because there are certain things that I really wanted to write about Otani but I could never describe from Otani's POV about Otani himself. Risa POV won't appear very often in the story because this is still an Otani POV story and majority of her thoughts should remain a mystery to us._


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